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“Oh, Rosalind.” Cousin Amanda held out her arms. “Come here, my love.”
“And you.” Rosalind fell sobbing into her arms. “When Cousin Marcus died you... weren’t yourself. You wouldn’t leave his body.” She looked up at the dowager duchess. “Romy feared you would hurt yourself.”
“I—was not—well for a time.”
“Do you know what my father’s heir said to her? That Mother had put herself in this position by being foolish enough to marry a man so many years her senior. She should have been expecting to be a young widow.” The pain exploded across Rosalind’s chest. “And I wasalone. No one even looked for me. I thought my mother would die too.” She wiped furiously at her cheeks. “I promised I wouldneverallow that to happen to me.”
Cousin Amanda held her close, brushing her hair back from her forehead. “I know, dear. I’m so sorry it took Marcus and me so long to come to you. We didn’t know how bad—my poor Rosalind.”
“Why couldn’t Mother have allowed me to become a spinster? I don’t want to collapse.” She tried to pull away from Cousin Amanda, but the duchess wouldn’t allow it. “Or fall into fits. Lose myself and nearly die of grief because I wed a man twice my age. I won’t allow it.”
“My dear, Torrington could fall off his horse tomorrow. Perish from catching a fever. Be run over by a carriage leaving his club. He could be twenty or sixty and still meet with an unfortunate accident. Age has little to do with it. Merely bad luck.”
Rosalind sobbed louder.
“You are out of excuses as to why you must not love Torrington.”
“I don’t love him. I won’t.” She shook her head. “We will lead a separate existence.”
“Do you think by staying apart from him you will spare yourself? Because you won’t. It is far too late for that. You already love him.”
Another choking sob left her. Then a horrible wail. “I’m so afraid, Cousin Amanda. Like a weight on my chest which never goes away.”
The duchess pressed a kiss to her head. “Do not waste another precious moment on what may happen, Rosalind. It serves no purpose other than to keep you tethered to a perpetual state of misery. Fear. Even knowing how badly—”
Cousin Amanda trembled and hugged Rosalind tighter.
“I would still love Marcus. Every moment of my life with him has been worth it. I would changenothing. Not even the pain of losing him. You cannot live your life in constant worry. Have your bakery, with a healthy amount of discretion. Make the lemon blackberry cake my dear Marcus adored, as he did you.LoveTorrington. Give him children if you’re meant to. When the time comes, and you finally part, that love will sustain you.”
