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‘James, perhaps you and Harry could go on ahead? There’s something I need to talk to Amy about,’ Laurie said. James nodded and took Harry’s free hand.
‘Is it Florida?’ Harry said, his face falling.
‘No! No, it’s these wellies. I can’t keep up with you, you see, Harry, darling, these wellies are slowing me down!’ Laurie said. ‘Silly wellies!’
‘Silly wellies. Selly willies. Willies! You’ve got willies on your feet, Laurie!’
‘Harry …’ Amy cautioned before Laurie could get cross with him for being rude.
‘Oh, right, I get it. No talking about willies. Come on, Dad! Race you to the stile!’ Harry yelled, setting off at top speed with James puffing after him. The two women stood silently until they were out of earshot.
‘What is it?’ Amy said stiffly after a while.
‘I need to apologise to you.’ Laurie shifted her feet in the wellies. ‘You’re right, Amy. I’ve tried to make Harry behave better than I do myself. I’m sorry. I … I wanted …’ There was an unusual hesitancy in the way she spoke, ‘I wanted to show you I could do it.’
‘Do what?’
‘That I could … that I might … Oh, this is so hard!’ She looked up at the bulk of Elder Fell in front of her as if to find inspiration. ‘One day, if … you know, if things … with James and I… I don’t want to presume, but if James and I are to have a future I have to know what to do with Harry. He’s lovely, he really is, Amy, he’s curious, and loving and fun, you’ve done such a good job with him, but he’s …’
‘He’s exuberant. Excitable. Even difficult, at times,’ Amy admitted.
‘Yes! Yes, and I … I didn’t know what to do. I’ve never been a mum, and at my age, I never will be. I wanted to get it right, so I read every book I could find until I thought I was doing the right thing.’
‘Ah, I see your mistake right there. Those books don’t apply to Harry, you see. He needs a book all of his own — the Harry book!’ Amy said with a grin.
‘What I should have done,’ Laurie said, her voice barely louder than a whisper, moving a strand of hair which had stuck to her lipstick, ‘was ask an expert. Someone who knew what to do to help Harry. I should have spoken to you.’
‘Me?’
‘Amy, you might not believe me, but I only wanted to help. The last thing I wanted was for you to think if you said ‘no’ to something, all Harry had to do was come running to us and we’d give him what he wanted. I wanted to show I was taking it seriously … that I might be able to be …’ her voice faltered. ‘That maybe one day, maybe, if things go well with James and me, I’d make a … a half decent … stepmum.’ She stuck her chin out almost defiantly.
‘You’ve tried too hard. That’s all.’ Amy recognised Laurie’s confusion only too well. Like the rest of them, she was stumbling along in the dark, trying to do her best — only on her path Laurie had the added handicap of an oversized pair of floral wellies which weren’t even her own.
‘I’m sorry, Amy. This was all my fault. I was worried, I made James come here today, because I got it into my head Harry was in trouble, and I convinced him, too. I’ve made such a mess of everything.’
‘Well, you clearly had the best intentions, and sometimes we all make mistakes. You were looking out for Harry.’ Amy held out a hand to Laurie, and Laurie took it gratefully, squeezing her hand in return.
‘I know we’ll never be … well, friends … but I’d like us not to be enemies. Things would be easier for Harry if we worked together. I know James thinks so too, but he’s so …’ She looked around awkwardly, as if she didn’t want to finish the sentence, didn’t want to be disloyal.
‘I know. You don’t have to tell me. I was married to him for nearly ten years!’ Amy said with a grin. ‘Come on, look. The boys are waiting for us at the stile.’
James looked up at Laurie as they approached and she gave him the briefest of nods, which he returned, the instinctive understanding between them evident. It struck Amy that Laurie and James were better suited than she and James had ever been. Maybe one day Matt would look at her like that, and with the smallest gesture she would be able to tell him everything.
‘Hurry up! Hurry up!’ Harry was chanting as they approached.
‘Do you know,’ said Laurie to Harry, with a glance at Amy, ‘I think, when we get back to the tent, we should find that silly reward chart, and we should tear it up.’
‘Do you mean I can’t go to Florida?’ he said. ‘It’s not fair! I didn’t mean to be naughty this time. I tried not to!’
‘No! Of course I don’t mean that, I can’t wait to go on holiday with you and show you all the things I loved to do when I was your age!’ Laurie said brightly. ‘I’ve come to realise perhaps that reward chart maybe wasn’t entirely fair to you.’
‘But I’ve been trying really, really hard.’ Harry’s face fell.
‘I’ve got a better idea,’ said Amy. ‘He’s tried so hard, and there are only three stickers left to win. I think today he’s earned at least one of those stickers for trying to stop Oliver feeling scared, yes?’
‘Absolutely,’ said Laurie.
‘Has he played nicely with Oliver even once this week?’ James asked.
