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‘I know what I’ll be gaining by staying here – my family. But I sense something more than timing is an issue. I thought you’d jump at the idea of heading home to your family. Was I wrong?’
‘It’s complicated.’
‘Try me.’
For so long she had bottled up her feelings and now, unstoppering them felt like ripping off a bandage stuck to a wound. But she had to try. Geoffrey needed to understand.
‘You know the circumstances of Jennifer’s conception and birth, yet you married me anyway, and offered to adopt my daughter as your own. Not once did you judge me for the choices I made.’
‘Of course I didn’t. No one should.’ He paused.
He left a silence that waited for her to agree but saying it would be a betrayal of her parents. She said nothing.
‘I imagine your family will be keen to meet her?’
There had always been something about sitting side by side in the dark that seduced her into sharing secrets. She’d done it before, in Townsville. It was the not seeing that made it possible. She spoke to the trees and set free the shattering truth. ‘They don’t know she exists.’
Silence from Geoffrey. She imagined him grappling with the truth while she rocked, cocooned within the darkness.
At last, he spoke. ‘I don’t understand. She’s three years old.’ He set the seat swinging. Even in the shadows of the veranda, she could just make out his frown. ‘Why haven’t you told them about her?’
‘I planned to tell them I was expecting as soon as Seamus and I were married. I thought we’d fudge the month of our wedding—make it the date we got engaged, which was close enough to— Well, you get the idea. If we did that, all would be well. But when he died, I couldn’t tell them I was about to become an unwed mother. They would have told me I’d reaped what I’d sown.’ Bitterness filled her as she imagined her mother’s tone of voice and her father’s glare, their disappointment in their only daughter.
‘Would they, Margaret? I can’t imagine the people who brought you into the world would turn their backs on their daughter and granddaughter.’
‘Your family must be more forgiving. Mine are models of rectitude. Acknowledging me and my daughter would mean my father couldn’t maintain his position as an elder of their church. It’s not possible.’
‘But we’re married now. Surely that—’
‘Will count for nothing. They’ll never accept my daughter because of her birth. Illegitimate at birth, barely tolerated through life. That’s their Christian view.’
‘If that’s true then it’s sad. But can you know that for sure? What if you give them a chance?’
‘If you accept the position with Dr Hepworth and we end up in Sydney, there is no way I’ll risk them hurting Jennifer by refusing to acknowledge her. It’s my job to protect her, even if that means she has nothing to do with my family.’
‘I’m—confused. Are you telling me you want me to take the job in Sydney, or that you’ll hate going back there?’
‘I want you to take the job that makes you happy and if that’s in Sydney, then I’ll live with it. It’s a big city. I mean—it’s not likely I’ll run into my family when I go shopping. They live a fair way south of the city. We could live in the northern suburbs near the beach. Jennifer would like that.’ From reluctantly opening up about her parents, now Meg couldn’t stop the flow of words. She was gabbling. She never gabbled but—
‘Margaret, enough.’ Spoken gently, Geoffrey’s soft comment was all it took to settle her.
‘You’re a practical, level-headed woman, but this situation with your family has you tied in knots. Let’s leave it until the morning to unravel them, shall we. Now, would you like some hot cocoa to help you sleep?’
‘Yes please.’
He patted her hand and rose, setting the seat rocking with more force than usual. ‘Stay there and I’ll be back soon.’
Meg curled her legs up and waited for her heartbeat to settle. Geoffrey was right. Whenever she thought about seeing her family, she grew agitated, and emotion clouded her response. He didn’t know her family, but he had the advantage of thinking about the situation from a different perspective. Was he right that there might be a way back to them?
