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CHAPTER 27
LILY
Four days. It seemed such a short time, and yet, it felt like I’d known Mat longer. Like he’d somehow always been part of my life.
“You’re welcome to stay in Blade Rock as long as you wish. My pack grounds are protected,” he looked at me. “No harm will come to either of you here.”
Axel sat beside me, quiet and solemn. Yesterday had been tough for both of us. I’d cried so much; my eyes were still puffy, and a dull headache loomed, pressing persistently against my skull. Too much information, too soon. Not only for me, but for Axel as well. At one point he’d teared up too, when he examined my back where some sort of brand apparently lay. I didn’t want to see it. The thick white scar on my lower belly had been as much as I could stand.
Eight years. I didn’t want to think about what might have happened to me in the time gone by. I couldn’t let my mind go there; it would consume me. Instead, I shut it off, distanced myself from it like it had happened to someone else. Like I was watching a film, perhaps. It was the only way I knew how to cope.
“Thank you, Mat, for everything. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”
He smiled, a soft gentle smile and nodded once. Axel remained quiet.
“Whenever you’re ready, Blade Rock will be here to welcome you back with open arms.” Mat stood. It was time. “I mean, you don’t have to be on the brink of death before visiting again.”
I didn’t want to leave yet. Yes, I wanted to go home, see Ray and my family again. But some part of me wished to stay here, with Mat. I crossed the room, flinging my arms around him. His warmth seeped into me, and a large hand found a perch on the back of my head. My eyes closed as I nuzzled my face into his chest, inhaling for the last time. Smoky woods and coffee. Mat was safety. A true friend.
“I’ll keep in touch, I promise,” I finally said, pulling away from him to wipe a tear. I’d never really been much of a crier. But as of late, it seemed to be the thing I did best. I had no more control over my body or emotions. I was a wreck. Physically and mentally.
Axel stepped closer, extending a hand to Mat. “Thank you again, for everything, Alpha.”
“You’re welcome.” They shook hands. “And please, just Mat.”
Axel nodded. “Mat.” Then, his stormy blue gaze slid to me. “Ready?”
I wasn’t. Didn’t know if I’d ever be.
“Ready.”
Home. I was going home after eight years of nothing. So much must have changed. Wringing my fingers in my lap, I stared out of the window. Miles and miles of dense forest stretched along both sides of the road. It was beautiful, but it didn’t comfort my troubled heart. Would Hollow Stone accept me back? Would they forgive me for what I’d done? Did they even know?
Although Axel had informed me that Cassius wanted to come and collect me himself, I remained doubtful. Apparently, his mate was expected to give birth to their second child any day and he couldn’t leave because of it. A small part of me still wondered whether it was just an excuse. That perhaps he didn’t want to see me.
Axel had said nothing about Raiden yet. A concern I wasn’t ready to face. Not now and maybe never. Had he found his destined mate? Or settled for someone else? Had something happened to him too? I couldn't stand the thought of any of those possibilities being true.
Ancient trees stretched up endlessly towards the heavens, their branches filled with tiny creatures scurrying about. Ferns and other shady plants covered the earth underneath, a mystical image too beautiful to ever capture in a photograph.
It was quiet in the car now. Both of us were lost in thought. Axel had filled me in on all the major stuff that happened after my disappearance. He talked about Cassius meeting his mate and becoming a dad, his transition into the role of Alpha and many other, mostly family-related things. So much had happened and I’d missed out on all of it. It hurt. Deeply.
I kept my eyes fixed on the trees outside as another hot tear escaped. I was so tired of fucking crying. Of feeling so lost and empty. Axel could obviously smell my tears, but he said nothing and kept staring out of his own window. I was grateful for it.
After travelling for miles, we finally stopped at a gas station. It was on the outskirts of a tiny human town, Grimlark Ridge. Other than the beautiful forest surrounding this little rest stop, there was nothing special or significant about it. It had a semi-clean restroom and a small, very unremarkable shop, only providing basic necessities, some snacks and a small selection of drinks.
With a whole bag of refreshments, I made my way out into the parking lot, breathing in the fresh air like it had been stolen from me for those eight years. Axel and some of the boys were already by the car, chatting while they waited for everyone else to get back.
Stop. My wolf demanded. Stop now. Her command frightened me a bit, my mind jumping straight to him. The voice. But as soon as the thought came, I caught a whiff of something so indescribable and foreign. It tugged at my heart. A smell, like a melody. Crafted by celestials in perfect harmony to my soul.
Completely overwhelmed by my senses, my feet turned in place, my nose searching. Urged on by an unknown force, I moved. Heart fluttering and eyes wide, tracking the scent.
With a single glance back at the boys, I let my wolf guide me into the unknown. I wasn’t frightened anymore, nor was I worried, knowing Axel was close. What I felt was nothing like he’d made me feel. No, this was different. The complete opposite. It was warm and exciting. Light and heavy at the same time. I couldn’t stop myself.
With the bag still clutched in my hand, I stepped into the forest. Trudging carefully through the undergrowth, keeping all my senses open. I followed the pull.
With every step, my wolf grew more restless. But I wasn’t afraid, neither was she. After about thirty steps into the lush greenery, I stopped and peered into the darkness between the trees. My heart told me to go, but my mind reminded me of Axel at my back. I couldn’t wander too far. I had to go back.
The scent was tugging at me, begging my wolf to go deeper into the forest, but I forced myself to stay put. I’d made enough horrible mistakes to last me a lifetime.
For a few more moments I just stood there, staring intently into the darkness, trying to make out shapes or any form of movement. When the faint sound of pattering against ground reached my ears, my wolf perked. Somewhere up ahead, there was something moving in the dark. Close.
Behind me, twigs snapped, and branches cracked. I spun around, my pulse quickening, mouth drying up. A large bird tumbled out of a bush, flying off with a flap of its magnificent wings.
Although every inch of me trembled, relief washed over and I pressed a palm to my chest, feeling my heart pounding beneath. It wasn’t him; it wasn’t him. Letting out a shaky breath, I turned and locked eyes with a figure up ahead.
