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LUCA
“Fuck!”
The side of my face stung like a bitch. I stood staring at the doorway, balling my hands into fists.
The second the words left my mouth I wanted to take them back. What the hell have I done?
Becka had every right to slap me for threatening her with something so unforgivable. Something that had never once crossed my mind. I could never cheat on her. The shock and horror on her beautiful face when I said it tore at my eyes. The image would be forever burned into my memory.
Shit-shit-shit.All I’d been thinking about was getting Becka naked. The mounting frustrations had stretched me to the end of the line and I’d needed a release. What better way to do that than being buried deep inside her?
I didn’t even recognize myself during the conversation. Demanding sex without a thread of passion for her was something I never wanted to do.
Who are you?
The self-imposed prison I locked myself in was warping my mind.
Then to touch her, feel the heat of her rise as I palmed her hips and then be rejected had burned. And I totally deserved it. I knew I was being a total dick but had fallen too far down the rabbit hole to know how to stop.
Now I was angry, more sexually frustrated than I’d been in my life and managed to hurt Becka in the worst way. Raking my hands through my hair I wanted to scream. Roar at the top of my lungs until all the shit feelings left my body.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, halting me from putting a fist through the wall.
Matteo: Get your ass to my house right now.
Taking a deep breath I put my guns and jacket back on and headed for the front door. I paused for a moment at Becka’s old room. Muffled sounds of crying and growling filtered into the hallway. The sounds sucker punched me in the gut, making me want to puke.
What are you doing to yourself?
* * *
Matteo’s home was a ghost town. I saw no guards in the house, not a single one. Matteo had multiple men at his home at all times, inside and out. Even more now since Lorenzo had been murdered. Today the house was as silent and lifeless as the grave, putting every man I had assigned to be on watch on my shit list.
I made my way to Matteo’s office already knowing that’s where he’d be. I opened the door and stepped inside without a knock, closing it behind me.
Matteo sat at his desk, no jacket, sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
“Where are all the men? I posted four men for the house alone.” He stayed silent at my question.
It wasn’t until Matteo stood from his desk and rounded it that I noticed his expression. Pure rage. He looked ready to kill. I’d seen that look many times before but never directed at me. “Matteo?” His name barely left my lips before Matteo landed a fierce right hook to my jaw.
Pain exploded across my face, knocking me back into the door. Worse than the pain was the shock. Matteo hit me. We’d sparred countless times in the past but never hit each other in anger before.
“How dare you disrespect my wife!” he roared.
Another right hook had me falling to one knee, the coppery tang of blood hit my tongue. I’d forgotten how hard Matteo could hit.
I couldn’t even defend myself as he wound up for another swing, too stunned by what was happening. The next blow felt like a sludge hammer and I slummed against the door. My brain started to pulse inside my skull.
“Besides being your Boss’ wife, Arianna is your friend and has always been there for you. Your wife is her best friend for God’s sake! What the hell has gotten into you!”
“I don’t know,” I heaved, spitting a mouthful of blood. My best friend— brother— just hit me and I couldn’t grip the reality of that, let alone explain the mess inside my head. The only thing I was certain of was that he was right. I was so far out of line I couldn’t see straight anymore.
“I know what’s wrong. You feel like a failure.”
My head whipped up to meet his scowl.
“You think that somehow you not being here when it happened that you failed me. That maybe if you had been the one to assign the men that day my father would still be alive. And now that we can’t find Petrov you can’t even contain the hate you feel for yourself because of it.”
