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BECKA
The morning could not come soon enough. I was so excited to work out my body buzzed. The need to push myself until my mind went numb felt more like a necessity than ever before.
I hopped out of bed, threw some work-out clothes on and headed for the door. I hadn’t got much sleep the night before, hoping it would help me blank out while I worked myself to death. My body was hungry and ready for a punishing workout after so many days of none at all.
The door to my room wasn’t locked, but just as Luca promised, was being guarded by a grumpy looking man in a suit— the Russo family uniform apparently— sitting in a chair reading a book. He didn’t say anything as he followed me like a hound dog through the house and out back to the gym. When he tried to follow me inside I slammed the door in his face.
Being followed was one thing but enduring a total stranger watch me intensely while I exercised was out of the question. I half expected him to shove it back open and refuse to leave. Instead, I heard him growling to himself on the other side, but he didn’t come in. Good dog.
Three hard miles was my warm-up. I hadn’t run in days and was feeling the need to push harder than usual. Plus, I figured the more I pushed and harder I concentrated it would distract me from thinking about Luca.
Unfortunately, my strategy was failing miserably. All I could think about was him and the night before.
I hadn’t seen him or heard him since I woke up and wondered if he was home.
He said he would be working at the club, which I knew didn’t close until early morning but, by now it was nearing nine o’clock. If he wasn’t at home, then where was he? Still working? Sleeping? Doubtful. With another woman? Please, not that. My stomach knotted at the thought.
What happened the night before screwed into my brain like a wine bottle opener. I’d pissed him off and hit him. I didn’t feel an ounce of guilt for either one. I knew there was going to be precautions taken. I knew the value of my word and they didn’t, but hearing it all had set me on fire. He had reasons to be cautious and I had every right to be mad, but those things didn’t change the fact that it left a sour taste in my mouth. It was not at all how I’d hoped things would go.
He had been a total ass and I freaked out, but it scared me to think that that might be what the rest of my life was going to look like.
Luca embodied a hard man and I doubted my ability to soften him. I got hints of tenderness, but they were fleeting. I just needed to keep chiseling away at the rock walls he hid behind. If I gave myself a goal, something to work for, then maybe I would be able to hold onto my sanity. Opposed to the alternative of doing nothing and withering away into a dried-up husk that used to be me.
God help me.
I pushed myself for another 45 minutes with a grueling full-body weight session until my arms filled with cement and my legs turned to Jell-O.
* * *
When I got back to the house Luca was standing in the kitchen. Relief flooded over me. My guard came though the door behind me and immediately exited out the door on the other side.
I took a moment to look him over. Luca must have come home some time because he looked rested, showered, dressed, and ready to start the day. Coffee in hand, he leaned against the counter watching me approach.
As usual he was completely unabashed at how his eyes roved over every inch of my body, lingering on my sculpted abs that were on display. There was no less heat in his gaze, even though I was covered in sweat and no doubt stank. When his focus landed on my face I could see him trying to read my mood.
I stopped at the edge of the island keeping a bit of distance, not only for the fact that I smelled, but I also wasn’t sure how he would react after last night. I wasn’t even sure what to say, but something had to be done. Too afraid that if left alone the matter would fester like an open wound. Pride had to go on the back-burner. Leaving things left unsaid was never my style. It would just eat at me slowly until it broke me.
“Good morning,” I offered.
“Morning,” he answered over the rim of his coffee mug. “How did you sleep?”
I gave a noncommittal shrug, not wanting to admit thinking of him possibly being with another woman kept me up all night. “OK. When did you um… come home last night? I never heard you come in.”
He flashed a grin full of amusement. “Where you listening for me? Afraid I wouldn’t come back?”
“No. Not that you wouldn’t come back.” I shifted uncomfortably on my feet. “But where you might be. Or who…”. He studied me with intense eyes. Letting him know I was afraid that he might be sleeping with other people made me feel too exposed, even if I was desperate. He might just use it as ammo.
I filled my lungs with a heavy breath. “I just know last night was a shit show. And I don’t want to leave it like that. I’m not sorry about getting mad but…”
“I wouldn’t expect that in a million years,” he interrupted, setting his coffee down, crossing his arms over his chest and looking much too entertained.
“Don’t mock me.”
“I’m not at all. I know what you are trying to do.”
“And what am I doing?”
“You are trying to rectify what happened last night.”
