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5
Ivy
Icurled up in Sam’s bed and stared at the ceiling. Thirty-six years, he’d walked around with incorrect information. I wasn’t at the clinic for what he thought. My hand went to my stomach, remembering the day I woke up, my bed covered in blood. I was alone in the house because my mother was out on another bender. We also didn’t have insurance, so I couldn’t go to the hospital. I thought my only option was to call a woman who’d helped my mom a few years back when she got chlamydia. Before she left the house, she handed me her card and told me to call her if I ever needed anything.
I’d called the woman, Dr. Kayla Kirkland, in tears, not sure what to do about all the blood.
Dr. Kirkland volunteered a few days a week at Planned Parenthood. She told me to come to see her and explained I had more than likely had a miscarriage. The bleeding had stopped, so she said I could meet her the next day. I cleaned up the mess and laid in bed crying. Part of me felt like I’d failed; even if I didn’t want a kid right after high school, my body took the choice away from me.
Angie was my closest friend, and I asked her to drive me to the clinic. I never explained why, and she never asked. Dr. Kirkerland confirmed I’d had a miscarriage. All I wanted was for Sam to tell me everything would be okay, but I was also too embarrassed to tell him what had happened. I cried the entire ride home, and later that night, I called Sam. He was cold on the phone and so I’d lied about my day. Two days later, I felt better and drove out to his house, only to be told he had left for the Navy early. He’d disappeared without a word. I’d lost our child and him in the same week.
Even Angie stopped talking to me. Everything sent me into a deep depression, and I turned to drugs. It didn’t matter to me what I got my hands on, which wasn’t hard because Mom had dealers coming in and out of the house. I was heading down the same path as her. In my eyes, I had nothing left to live for. The man I loved had left with no notice and wouldn’t return a single letter I sent him. I wasn’t even sure he got them.
My life changed directions a second time, two months later. I came home to find my mother dead on the floor with a needle still in her arm. For hours, I stood staring at her body, wondering if this was how my life would end up.
Then I knew the only person who could decide my fate was me. Sam had walked away with my heart, but I could still make a future for myself.
Before I called the EMT to come get my Mom, I cleared out all the drugs in the house. At Mom’s funeral, nobody showed. I didn’t expect anyone would. I was alone in the world. No friends. That night, I put the house up for sale, sold everything else, and drove the two hours to Dallas. I found a crappy apartment near the college and enrolled. School was the one thing that always came easy for me. I’d had a full ride to the top veterinary college in Dallas.
In my last year of school, I ran into Brad. He was a few years older than me. The man swept me off my feet and showed me the world. He never made my heart pitter-patter like Sam, but he cared for me. The romance was a whirlwind. We married just two months after dating. I was pregnant a month later. He talked me into moving back to Summer Valley. I agreed and opened up my veterinary clinic. In no time, Brad charmed the whole town into thinking he was a great guy.
Sam was already back in town when I moved home. For almost forty years, neither one of us brought up the past. Until now. I glanced over at the clock, saw it was three in the morning, and I hadn’t slept for a single minute. My mind should be on the mob, who would be back at my place on Wednesday, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Sam had said.
Fuck it.
I threw the covers to the side and got out of bed. He’d mentioned there were no rooms left, so I headed out to the living room where he said he would be sleeping. I cut through the kitchen to find Kat still up, typing away on the computer.
She stopped and glanced up at me. “Seems nobody sleeps around here. Have a seat.”
I pulled out the chair and sat next to her. On the screen of her laptop was another woman with equally red hair and the same green eyes. “That’s my sister. She’s overseas with her husband, but had an update for me in regards to a woman I’m trying to help at the shelter back home.”
These women were helping me, and I barely knew them. For so many years, I felt like I was on my own, and in one day, Sam had barged his way in and flipped everything on its side. “I don’t expect you to work on your vacation or in the middle of the night.”
A woman with blonde hair popped into the screen, and I almost had a heart attack. It was the Queen of Shailia. Queen Patty Blackwell and her husband, Sam, graced the covers of magazines all the time.
“Hi, Ivy.” Queen Blackwell waved. “Make sure to get it on video if Kat takes out a mob guy. Antonio keeps deleting footage before I can hack the cameras. Sophie and I are trying to figure out who he is using because they are good.”
“I’m sorry, but I’m confused,” I said to the woman I’d only seen in magazines.
Kat waved her hand in front of the screen. “It’s late here, and Antonio will come looking for me soon. I’ll keep you guys posted, and thanks once again for the info.” Kat closed the screen before either of the two women could say anything. “My sister, Sophie, is in Shailia for a few days visiting our close friend Patty.”
A wave of jealousy washed over me. I wished I had friends like hers when I was younger. Every women in the town who was my age sided with my ex in the divorce.
“You are doing way too much,” I said.
Kat shook her head and grabbed her mug. “Like I said before, this is what I do. It’s what we all do. Sophie and Patty are some of the best hackers in the world. Patty just doesn’t get to do it much anymore since she has a country to run. In a few hours, I should have a location on your ex and exactly what you are being shaken down for. Then Wednesday, when the men show up, the team can make the whole thing go away.”
“Go away?”
They kept mentioning killing and hiding bodies. I wasn’t sure what she meant. I wasn’t comfortable killing anyone or having someone killed. Yes, the men were bleeding me dry and probably deserved to die, but that wasn’t my decision to make.
Laughter bubbled from Kat. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill them. Neither will Antonio, especially since we want to partner with Sam. I really like it here, and I think this would be a great place for many of the women at the shelter to start over.” She paused and glanced out the window. “Maybe it’s because I found the love of my life and want everyone else to always have the same, but the men coming back from war need help, too. It would be wonderful if some other happily ever afters happened for these women.”
My lip twitched. “You trying to change Sam’s ranch into a dating service? I thought he wanted a place for wounded soldiers.”
Her eyes twinkled. “This place is amazing. Sam reached out a few weeks ago, and I dug into the man’s life. I’m not sure he knew what he was signing up for when he contacted Antonio, but one look, and I knew we had to come to visit. Hence the surprise. You can always find out so much more when the person isn’t expecting you. I’d looked at his bookings and knew this week was slow. Sam wanted a place for men returning from war, but my idea is to also add women who need to escape or need protection.”
“You seem like a wonderful person, and I’m glad Sam is changing this place into something more.”
Kat stood. “I’m going to go catch a few hours of sleep. For what it’s worth, Sam cares about you. I can see there is tension, and I will not push—much. Communication is the key to everything, and some of the best blow-out conversations end up just fine.”
I could feel my face burn at her comment. “Sam and I had our chance years ago. He made a decision that affected us both.”
“The best fights end with the mind-blowing sex,” Kat winked and walked away.
I paused and let her words sink in. There was a difference between Kat and me. She was in her thirties and pretty. I’d had three boys, two by c-section. “I don’t know what to do.” I sighed out loud and rested my head in my hands. Part of me wanted to still scream at Sam, and the other part of me knew it was pointless. We couldn’t go back in time and change anything.
I glanced down the hall, which led to where I was sure Sam was asleep on the couch. The past was better left alone.
