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“And that 50 percent chance of doing time was what stopped you from pulling the trigger?” TJ asked.
Evan let out a long sigh. “Here’s the thing: I was sure that if I’d had a badge, I could have gotten away with it completely. Which is why, when I got the offer to join the force as a detective a week later, I turned it down. The world has enough bad guys hiding behind badges. I wasn’t going to become another one.”
“You’re not—” I started, but TJ held up his hand.
“And the police report?” he asked.
I wanted to scream at my boss. He couldn’t let Evan’s harsh self-assessment stand. He couldn’t believe the only thing keeping a man as good as Evan from committing cold-blooded murder was the 50 percent chance of serving time for manslaughter.
But Evan was already answering him. “I had nothing to do with that. As far as the cops who arrived on the scene were concerned, based on evidence and eye-witness accounts, all I had done was pull a registered weapon on a violent man who had threatened multiple people. They wrote a report that exonerated me. I didn’t know the details of the incident had disappeared until I told Bennet the story and that he should pull the report when he offered me a job.”
“These things happen,” TJ said, because it was true.
Things like disappearing reports did sometimes happen, especially in our line of work. But I could see how the police “disappearing” the report had played into Evan’s belief that he had done something wrong. Before I could point out that Evan had been a hero, not a villain, the conversation had already moved on.
“As long as we’re being honest, I have concerns about your team’s ability to keep Dr. Bond safe,” Evan said.
I shook my head. “Evan—”
“No, it’s okay,” TJ said. “It’s a fair concern given what happened Friday night.”
I sat back in my chair, not sure what I was witnessing. I’d never seen TJ concede a team failure so quickly. And in this case, the only member of the team at fault was me.
“And I have some thoughts about finding out more about how it happened,” Evan said, “if you’re willing to listen. But I’ll have to make a call first.”
“Make your call, then find me,” TJ said. He stood and offered his hand.
Evan stood and shook it. “It won’t take long.” He didn’t look at me as he headed for the door.
“Evan,” I said.
He stopped and glanced over his shoulder at me. “Not now, Doctor.”
I nodded. After what he had just had to relive, the nightmare we’d wrung out of him as the “reward” for saving me, I at least owed him some recovery time. But I wouldn’t wait long, because he needed to hear that I still believed in his goodness.
When he left, I turned to TJ, rage rising in my chest and nearly choking me. “You can’t believe he’s a monster.”
TJ widened his eyes. “Is that what you thought I was indicating? I figured you knew me better than that. I’ve looked into the eyes of killers, Bond, and your boyfriend isn’t one of them.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I responded instinctively, then immediately realized I’d lost the thread. “Why didn’t you say anything to reassure him? Or let me say anything?”
“Because it wouldn’t do any good.” TJ furrowed his brow with a look of sympathy. “Samantha, he’s going to have to come to that realization himself.”
“It’s been two years.”
TJ shrugged. “Sometimes these things take time.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
“Maybe, but it’s still true.” TJ patted my shoulder as he walked past me. “Good news is, sometimes the love of a good woman can speed up the process.”
That shocked me into silence. When I could think clearly again, I realized I hadn’t clarified to TJ that what Evan and I had shared was a one-time thing. And if TJ was right about what Evan needed, it was for the best, as much as I hated the thought, because I was pretty damn sure love was well beyond my skill set.
