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James looked as though he agreed with my mother, and I let out a shaky breath. Perhaps this time would be different. Dancing with James last night had not induced any fainting. It had been enjoyable. Perhaps that was all I needed tonight.
I slid my hand into his, and he held it tightly, placing it over his bent arm to lead me to the dance floor.
We took our places for the quadrille and waited for the music to begin. My skin burned from the many eyes set upon me, and already I could feel my heart rate increase from the attention.
“I am not certain I can do this,” I whispered.
James looked down at me, faintly alarmed. “What did your mother mean when she asked me to catch you? Are you prone to tripping?”
“No. I am prone to fainting.”
His eyes widened. “Gads, woman. Why?”
I shook my head. Two of the other couples had begun their steps, but I could hardly hear the music for the heavy pulse that thrummed in my ears. My hands shook, and I managed to move through the motions well enough when it was our turn.
We returned to our original places, and James leaned close. “Shall we sit out? We can leave now.”
I could not speak. My mouth had gone dry, and within a few moments I would need to step forward and perform a few steps with the stranger on my other side. James watched me move away from him, his gaze on me as we moved through the motions the quadrille required. I turned to find him on the opposite side of the set, using him as a beacon to keep myself focused on the task at hand.
If I kept my attention on James, maybe I could ignore the crowds of spectators.
But as the dance continued, my nerves heightened. I danced back to James’s side, and his hand squeezed mine. “Are you well?”
“Yes,” I said, my voice breathless. I could not inhale fully, but so long as I could breathe, I could dance.
“Are you certain?”
The stares of the inhabitants around the room ran down my spine like tiny insects, and my stomach squirmed. “Yes, I’m well,” I said. Though, I was anything but.
We moved to the center of the set and stepped away again, and I felt James’s attention as deeply as I did the gossips about the room.
He was right. He and my father had been correct, as loath as I was to admit it. There was no pulling ourselves out of the depths of this scandal without some casualties. It was better to sacrifice myself than that of my parents’ happiness.
“We need to make the announcement,” I said.
He turned to me sharply, misstepping. He was light on his feet, though, and it was hardly a noticeable blunder. “Are you certain?”
“We have no other choice. Not unless you should like to remain the center of attention in such a horrid way.” To be so utterly watched yet ignored by my friends was the worst kind of torture.
“I haven’t noticed,” he said.
I laughed lightly, but the black spots were already threatening the edges of my vision, and I did my best to focus on James. Somehow, he seemed to keep the darkness at bay.
We found ourselves moving steadily to the music, in and around the other three couples, and so long as I focused on James, I could block out the rest of the room. When the end of the dance arrived, I was forced to move around the man beside me, opposite what James was doing, and did my best to keep him in my line of sight.
Instead, I caught the glare from the young woman who had tittered last night when James had given her a glass of lemonade. Her scowl was deep, marring her pretty brow, and at once I noticed each gaze of the surrounding spectators watching me. My heart sped, my vision blurred, and I turned the wrong way, running into another dancer.
The man righted me, but my breath was coming too quickly. I searched for James among the dancers, but he was missing.
The blackness quickly took over, my legs turned helpless, and I fell.
