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And why not? She had no idea. Maybe she’d been too busy trying to succeed, trying to prove to herself and the world that she deserved recognition…trying to keep anyone who might hurt her at arm’s length.
“Do you, Heather, take this man as your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health…”
Jane forced herself to focus on the wedding vows, to pay close attention to the words, and it felt as if a big, gaping hole opened up in her chest. She’d never allowed herself to love anyone enough to say those words. She’d never been so close to a man that she wanted to keep him as her partner for life. And for the first time ever, she realized she was missing out.
Blinking back an unwelcome dampness in her eyes, she watched the rest of the ceremony. When the minister introduced Mr. and Mrs. Michael Bell to the world, Jane saw something she hadn’t expected to see, unabashed happiness on Heather and Michael’s faces, and she was humbled by the truth that two people could love each other enough to put aside something as awful as what had happened last night and still commit their lives to one another. That was a love deeper than she’d ever felt, and she knew in an instant that she wanted to find it.
She’d been paired up with Luke to do the walk back down the aisle. When he offered her his arm, she hesitated for a moment, all too aware that touching Luke inevitably caused sparks. But slipping her arm in his and exiting the church with him felt oddly comfortable, so much so that she allowed herself to put aside all her worries and just enjoy the festivity.
They endured the inevitable wedding photo session, and then Luke invited her to ride with him to the reception hotel. In the passenger seat of his Land Cruiser, Jane settled back and took in the side view of Luke in his tux, his hair pulled back into a sleek ponytail. He looked delicious.
“You clean up pretty well,” she said as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“You don’t look too bad yourself.” It was a friendly enough comment, but Jane knew by the flatness of his voice that he wasn’t happy with her.
“I’m sorry we didn’t get to say a proper goodbye this morning.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“You’re angry with me.”
Silence.
Jane squirmed in her seat. “This is why I never wanted us to have a sexual fling in the first place. I knew we couldn’t end up happier people for it.”
His gaze remained focused on the road, and for several long minutes, he said nothing. When he finally spoke, the sound was jarring. “Just so you’ll know, I have to leave the reception a little early to catch a flight to Puerto Rico. I wouldn’t want you thinking I’ve gone off to lick my wounds over your rejection.”
She ignored his sarcasm. “What’s in Puerto Rico?”
“A client. He vacations there and occasionally has me fly down.”
“Oh. Well, have fun.” She swallowed the dryness in her mouth and puzzled at the prickly feeling behind her eyes. It shouldn’t have upset her to hear that Luke was leaving on a business trip. Rather, she should have felt relieved, right?
So why didn’t she?
They rode in silence the rest of the way to the hotel and still managed not to speak as they made their way into the reception, where the party was already going strong. Luke disappeared from Jane’s side when her aunt Claudia stopped her to ask where Heather was, and for the rest of the night he wouldn’t make eye contact with her whenever they were near.
Jane ate dinner at the wedding party table that faced out toward the rest of the reception hall. As she watched people laughing and having a great time, she resolved to do the same, and when dinner was over and Heather and Michael danced their first dance, Jane felt a real sense of happiness settle in her belly. She smiled at the obviously happy couple, a little amazed herself for not having a single jaded thought about their troubles the night before.
Jennifer came back to their table and sat down beside Jane.
“I just want to thank you for telling me to give up on Eli. I don’t know what I was thinking, letting him come between Lacey and I.”
Jane looked at her sister and for once didn’t feel a single resentful big sisterly feeling. “So everything’s okay now?”
“Yep, we both agreed to give him the cold shoulder, which pissed him off, I think, but he’ll get over it. Lacey even let me wear her leather skirt last weekend.”
Well, then. What could be more harmonious than a shared leather skirt? Jane managed to even feel satisfied that she’d helped her sisters out of a conflict. Maybe she wasn’t totally incompetent after all. Maybe she did occasionally have useful advice to give.
