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Charles nodded. “I’ve tried everything. I am the first to admit that there will never be a relationship between myself and Mrs. Fawn, but where I struggle is knowing how to overcome my feelings.”
“Then don’t overcome them.”
Charles blinked. Had Nick not paid close attention? “My feelings are not returned. I cannot very well force the woman to love me.”
“No, and I would never suggest that. What I am proposing is that you allow yourself to feel these things instead of trying so hard to snuff them out. Allow yourself the luxury of loving the woman, even from afar. You needn’t ask her to dance or call on her with a bouquet of flowers. Simply appreciate the person you care for and ask nothing in return.”
Ask nothing in return. Hadn’t he done that the last few times he’d seen her? He’d pushed her gig from the mud and left, refraining from drinking in the sight of her as he’d ridden away or extending their chance meeting into a longer conversation. And again at the Halpert cottage, he’d left the women alone the moment Amelia had arrived.
And in neither of those situations had Charles walked away feeling worse. Nick just may be on to something with this theory.
“You may be the woman’s friend without requiring more from her,” Nick said, crossing his ankle over his other knee. “Love her from a distance. Perhaps that would help you to overcome the depth of your feelings. If you stop fighting them so much.”
“It is certainly worth a shot.” Charles rubbed the back of his neck. “Thank you, Nick. I needed to confide in someone, and I had no one else with whom I felt comfortable enough to speak to about these things. If I can ever return the favor, do not hesitate to call on me.”
Nick nodded. “You are returning the favor by distracting me from the impending birth of my firstborn son or daughter.”
Charles grinned. “Glad to be of service.”
* * *
Amelia leaned against the plush sofa cushion in Giulia’s drawing room, listening to Giulia and Hattie discuss the upcoming Midsummer’s Eve feast and Hattie’s subsequent ritual plans—and doing her level best not to look appalled.
“Do you wonder what the consequences will be if you are caught?” Giulia asked, her hand resting on her ample belly. Her cheeks were flushed, and her free hand waved a fan over her face.
Hattie nodded. “Amelia is coming to stand watch. But truly, what could old Mr. Conway do if he did happen upon us? None of my actions will be inherently evil.”
“What do you call conjuring the image of your future husband, then?” Giulia asked, laughing. She fanned her face harder, fighting the warm summer heat. “Do not mistake me. I am not opposed to the scheme. In fact, you may count on me for another lookout.”
Amelia and Hattie shared a glance.
“Do not count me out yet, ladies,” Giulia said. “I need all the distraction I can muster until this babe arrives. I cannot sleep at night anyway, so I may as well help you.”
Hattie grinned. “Very well.” Her eyes brightened. “Perhaps the Cunning Woman knows a way to determine the sex of your babe. Shall I have my maid inquire?”
Giulia shook her head. “I don’t need magic to know that. I can feel it. This child is a girl.”
“How do you know?”
Giulia shrugged. “I just know. I can’t explain how, except that it is a feeling deep in my heart.”
Hattie lifted her hands. “I suppose the only way to test that knowledge is if I send my maid to ask—”
“We will not be asking any Cunning Woman about my child,” Giulia said through her laughter.
“That is probably for the best,” Amelia agreed. She wasn’t sure involving the Cunning Woman in their affairs was a good idea at all. The less they interacted with the woman, the better. “We shall test Giulia’s theory by waiting for the birth and learning the sex of the baby then.”
Hattie grinned, unrepentant. “Very well. Spoil my fun, then.”
Giulia covered a deep yawn with her fan.
Wiping her hands down her skirt, Amelia took the yawn as a sign that they had remained long enough and rose. “We ought to leave now so you may catch some sleep.”
“I would argue with you, but I am much too tired to do so.”
Hattie reached across the sofa and took Giulia’s hand, her voice softening. “Do not rise on our account. We can see ourselves out.”
“We will see you at the feast,” Amelia said, pulling on her driving gloves.
