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The commercial kitchen out the back of the Clarence Pub hadn’t seen a renovation in about thirty years, but the scratched stainless-steel counters gleamed like newly minted coins. Wombat chucked him an onion and pointed to the tomatoes filling a basket on the benchtop. ‘You slice. I’ll cook. There’s leftover mash—you okay with hash browns on the side?’
‘Yeah, sure, anyth—’
Wombat wasn’t listening. Instead, he’d flung open one of the ancient casement windows above the sink and was leaning out. ‘Claudette! You’re late again. Don’t make me get all evil boss with you.’
Whoever Claudette was—a backpacker, Joey would guess from the scarf and the suntan, and the saucy grin—she clearly knew she was in no danger of being sacked. She gave his brother a cheery wave. ‘Bonjour, Will.Je suis désolé.’
‘You’re on front of house with Charlie when he gets here.’
‘D’accord,chéri.’
Wombat left the window and turned back to him. ‘Sorry. Where were we?’
‘I think you were about to tell me why some cute French chick is calling youchéri.’
‘You’re just jealous because your love-life is so pathetic it needs a town committee to save it.’
Joey dropped the half-peeled onion on the chopping board and turned to face him. ‘What?’
‘Um …’ said Will, pulling a plastic tub out of the fridge and staring at the slab of steak inside as though it disclosed the secret of what happened to Harold Holt. ‘Forget I said that.’
‘I’m bigger and meaner than you, Will, so you’d better spit it out. What do you mean, my love-life needs a committee?’
Will shrugged. ‘You know what the locals are like. Word is, they’ve added a new item onto their muster agenda this year. They’re on the lookout for a Mrs Farmer Joe. So you can be happy at last.’
‘What?’
‘Started up when Mum told everyone in town her precious Joey was returning here to live.’
‘Oh my god.’
‘And how Kim had ditched you.’
‘Bloody hell.’
‘And how she hoped you’d find happiness at long last. You know … after Natalie.’
‘What can have possessed her?’
Wombat gave the steaks a bash then flipped them over. ‘To be fair, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t her plan to get the whole town involved in finding you a wife. It just sort of snowballed. You know what Clarence is like.’
‘Of all the meddlesome, unwanted, dumb-as-shit ideas.’
‘You want my advice, Joey?’
He sighed and started hacking at the defenceless tomato on the chopping board as though it, too, were involved with the town’s plan. ‘What?’
‘Come to town more. Hang out a bit. You’ve been gone so long people don’t actually know you; they just think they do. It’s not like you came back to visit much over the years.’
‘I was—’
‘Working?’ Wombat finished for him. ‘You know that’s bollocks, don’t you?’
‘I, no. It’s—’
‘I get it,’ said Will. ‘It was painful for you being here, so you took off.’
Joey sighed. It had been very painful, just not for the reason Will and the rest of town assumed. ‘It was,’ he muttered. He’d avoided Clarence like it had personally done him an injury. First Pete, now Will. Perhaps therewassomething in what they were saying.
