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Mental and physical.
I already knew what my breaking point was. My weakness.
It was them.
I’d lived my life alone for so long that if I was forced to do it again, I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to live life any other way than with my men by my side.
Revolution or no revolution, if I couldn’t have Zane, Rix, and Jorik, then I didn’t have it in me to fight for anything. I never wanted to be alone again, and if they didn’t return to me, then I would make sure I met them in whatever realm their souls departed to.
As the nights turned darker and colder and I tucked the blankets tighter around me, I’d start to wonder what would happen if I was ambushed and taken before they returned. And if they returned and I wasn’t here, would they assume that they’d scared me on the boat and I left? Or maybe they’d know I was taken but have no way of finding me.
My mind drifted back to the night I woke up without them.
We were all spent from hours of making love, drenched in sweat, cum and properly satiated. Each of them took turns napping, then the first to rouse would settle himself between my thighs and we would have a round, just the two of us.
“What do you prefer, Angel?” Jorik had asked me as we lay side by side post-orgasm while Zane and Rix snored lightly on either side of us. “This whole big group fuck or one-on-one?”
Our elbows were bent, and he played with our connected fingers.
I hummed in thought for a moment, chewing on my swollen bottom lip. “As much as Ilovethis group stuff and being totally full of you guys, I think if I were to choose—gun to my head—”
He cringed. “Don’t use that analogy … please.”
Smiling, I brought the back of his hand to my mouth and kissed it. “Fine, forced to choose with the threat of no more orgasms ever again being my punishment fornotchoosing, I’d have to say that I prefer to be with you guys one-on-one.” I glanced over at him. “Not that I want to stop doing this wholething.”I swirled my free hand around our “orgy nest,” as Rix called it. “Because I absolutely don’t.”
His chuckle was deep, dark and delicious, and my pussy clenched of its own volition, remembering just how magical Jorik’s mouth could be. “Don’t worry, I don’t think we have any plans to pull the plug onthis.”
I let out an exaggeratedphew. “I just like the intimacy and connection that I feel with each of you when we’re together one-on-one. I feel like I get to focus all of my energy and attention onyouand that our souls are … intertwining.” I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe that all sounds stupid. I love it all, truly.”
It was his turn to bring the back of my hand to his mouth. “No, Angel. It’s not stupid. It makes sense, and I entirely agree. My soul feels more connected to yours when it’s just the two of us. I feel like I can read your thoughts, anticipate your needs, where you want my fingers and if you want me to speed up with my tongue. I feel like when it’s just us, I’m more in your head and I can’t get enough of it. Enough of you.”
“I feel the same way, Big Man,” I whispered, the last shreds of my worry melting away as I turned and snuggled into his solid chest. “Maybe you can’t get into my head when it’s all of us because I’m thinking about too many things at once. I don’t think the brain has an actual off switch.”
“Maybe,” he said plainly. “And no, it doesn’t. Or maybe I’m just trying to make sure Rix doesn’t poke me in the eye with his dick, so I can’t focus.”
I snorted a laugh and kissed the spot over his heart. “Fair enough. He does tend to whip it around like a sword, doesn’t he?”
Jorik’s warm chuckle swept over me, and when I opened my eyes, I realized I was back in the cabin alone, in the dark, and hot tears were streaming down my cheeks.
I must have nodded off, dreamt of my time with Jorik.
Clutching the blanket up to my chin, I trembled in the dark, sending every last shred of hope I possessed out to the sailboat and the men who battled the beasts of their addictions.
After that vivid memory with Jorik, I barely slept, and when I did, my dreams were broken and dark, riddled with shadows and chilling voices that had me waking up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding.
But when I woke on day six, everything felt different. Hope filled my heart, and the darkness that had been looming ominously on the fringes of my mind wasn’t there. Instead, I had clarity.
The morning was bright and clear. That had to be a good sign.
Today was the day my men were coming home. Today was the day our life together could truly begin without their addiction getting in the way of our happiness.
I made sure the cabin was clean and that there was plenty of food cooked. I’d killed two grouse yesterday and roasted them in the oven and washed my hair last night.
I had to stop myself from preening as I skipped down the pathway and onto the ramp. I couldn’t get too excited. The boat might not be making its way to the dock.
But when I lifted my head up and peered out into the bay, happiness surged through me, and I laughed as hot, salty tears stung the backs of my eyes and my jaw hurt from how hard I was smiling.
The boat was moving, and it was moving toward the dock.
