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‘Right, I’ve sent it.’ Jen said, stuffing her phone under the nearest cushion.
‘No, you did not.’ Chloe bolted upright once more, fear streaking her features.
‘Yep, done and dusted, no taking it back.’ Jen’s heart hammered. She’d felt sick before, but now it was like she was on a choppy boat.
Chloe huffed as she slammed back into the cushions. ‘Well, shit in my pocket and call me Derek. I need more wine.’ She guzzled half the glass before speaking again. ‘Did you really send it?’
‘Yes,’ Jen groaned. ‘Oh crap, my phone just vibrated.’
Chloe and Ryan leaned forward in unison, their mouths hanging open.
She couldn’t look. She’d expected Holly to take ages, a little more time to prepare herself. This was too quick.
‘Well?’ Chloe urged.
‘Tell us what she’s said,’ Ryan pleaded.
Jen took a deep breath. ‘I don’t want to look.’
‘If you don’t, I will,’ Chloe said, getting to her feet.
‘Steady on. Right,’ she grabbed her phone with a shaking hand as she puffed her cheeks out, her breath snagging. ‘Okay. Fuck.’ Jen’s heart skipped a beat on reading the message. The bottom fell out of her world.
Chloe’s face dropped, weighted with concern. ‘What did she say?’
‘Shit, not good, eh?’ Ryan said, sounding super guilty.
Jen coughed, hoping she could keep her voice level. She was never much of a crier, but it was a real possibility right now. She tilted her eyes to the roof, warding tears off. ‘It says:You’ve done nothing wrong. Lines have gotten blurred and we’re not on the same page any more. Just trying to get my head around it. Can we still be friends?’
‘Fuck,’ Ryan said, the word lasting a few syllables longer than usual.
‘Told you it was a bad idea,’ Chloe said to Ryan.
‘Well, at least I know now.’ Jen was grateful to know, but it didn’t stop her body going numb. The world was in slow motion, everything taking an age to process. She barely knew this woman, and yet it felt like her heart had just been ripped in two.
‘Sorry,’ Ryan muttered.
‘I need to reply now or it’s going to be in my head all night. What should I say?’
‘I think I’ve done enough damage. I’m off to get a refill,’ Ryan replied, and disappeared to the kitchen with his empty wine glass.
Chloe patted the empty space on the sofa. ‘Come here.’
Jen didn’t need to be asked twice. She scampered over and cuddled into Chloe’s shoulder, her best friend hugging her close.
‘It’s going to be okay,’ Chloe mumbled into the top of Jen’s head.
‘I know. But it still hurts.’
‘Let’s get really, really drunk when Ryan and I come to the cocktail night.’
‘Sounds good.’ The truth was, she didn’t think she could stomach alcohol right now. Or ever again. Her belly felt like it was on a spin cycle.
Ryan rejoined them on the sofa, squeezing in beside Jen.
‘Want me to get you ice cream or something?’
‘Ice cream?’ Chloe asked, her tone dripping with disgust.
‘Aye, that’s what girls are always eating in the movies when they get sad.’
‘That’s like pillow fights, is it not? Not an actual real-life thing. At least not for me. Do you want ice cream, Jen?’
‘Nah,’ was all she could muster.
This was exactly what she’d worked so hard to avoid for the last three years. Maybe she wasn’t as in control as she thought; maybe her heart called the shots. She couldn’t have dodged this bullet even if she’d tried. All this time she’d thought she was the one building the walls, but all along her heart was the one playing doorman.
Well, it knew now. Play shitty games, win shitty prizes.
