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But just like I’d surrendered a piece of myself to sit down in front of those college applications with Mom, I’d be surrendering a piece of Stella by asking such pitiful questions.
Harry’s voice was liquid silk against my ears, a song sung straight to my soul, filling a bit of the hole that festered in my chest.
“Life is like a strobe light, bright and blinding
One light, two lights, three, and four
Won’t you feel the beat with me?
Find me on the dance floor.”
Each lyric transported me back to last Saturday, and I could almostfeelHarry’s fingers on my hips, skin on skin. In my head,Ihad my hands on his chest.Ilooped my fingers through his belt loops. We couldn’t fake chemistry like that, right?
“A song stuck in my head I can’t ignore
I’ll be right here waiting
Leaving me wanting more
Come find me on the dance floor.”
As they sang, a thought danced like a little devil through my head. They would outgrow Crushed Beanz sooner or later. They’d expand, find a record company to sign them for an album. Or two. CDs, T-shirts, tours—all of that hung in their future. I just knew it.
Would I be in a place to follow them, watch their success as it rolled in? I wanted to be. Or would I be stuck in a college dorm somewhere, tied down to a life I didn’t want?
I listened to the rest of the gig from the counter, softly singing along to the songs that I’d long since memorized, sipping my coffee. Not even the caffeine helped amp me up, and as the night came to a close, I seriously lacked my usual energy.
“Thank you all for coming tonight,” Harry said into the mic, signaling their end.
“Be sure you’re following us on social media,” Natasha chimed in.
Harry glanced at her with a smile. “In fact, head over to our page now and let us know—what’s your favorite song of ours?”
I heard a few people call out their answers, which elicited a beautiful, deep laugh that rumbled through the microphone, the sound a shot of espresso to my chest.
“Go leave that comment—and tag any friends you think would like it too.”
“Goodnight, everyone!” Natasha called, and a beat later, I heard the microphones click off.
I didn’t waste any time threading my arms through my coat sleeves, turning around in the barstool chair to eye Jonathan. I wanted to get on the road before everyone else rushed out. “Thanks for the coffee, Jon.”
“No refill?” he asked, totally picking up on my low energy. Not that it was too surprising. I was a battery running on empty.
“Not tonight.” I simply gave him a small smile as I buttoned my jacket, a Fenta Vitalo trench coat, giving him a final farewell before blending in with the crowd.
Glancing around one last time, I hoped I could spot Harry. Vincent stood by the booth with Addy, giving her a smile. I’d seen him smile before, that lip ring tugging on one corner, but only rarely, and only directed at Addy.
As for Harry and Natasha, I didn’t spot either of them.
