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“So, you’re saying that because my parents willforbid me to—” I spoke the last three words with hard emphasis, “—that, what, our relationship is doomed? Really? You were completely fine when you knew me as Stella. You didn’t care at all when I was just her.”
“That’s the thing—youwereStella. I could understand Stella, I was more alike with Stella—”
“You wouldn’t have danced with Destelle if she asked you that night?” I demanded, the situation I’d always feared coming to pass. “If I’d come up to you with my Claire-Haute and diamond necklace, would you have danced with me?”
Harry clenched his jaw, eyes bright. “No.”
I literally took a step back, as if I could fully step away from his answer.No. If I’d gone up to him as me, not as Stella, he would’ve told me no. It had been something I was afraid of way back in the beginning, back before he knew the truth. That he wouldn’t have given Destelle,me,the time of day.
I thought about what he’d told me back in February, before we’d even gone on our first date.I’m not really looking to date right now.
He wouldn’t have made that exception for Destelle, not like he did for Stella.
“I can’t even explain it,” he said as he dragged his hands across his face, settling down at his throat. “It’s just too different.”
“We’re the same person!” I all but shouted, speaking the words for the first time aloud. “I’m Stella and I’m Destelle—nothing’s changed.”
“Nothing?” he echoed. “Are you going to meet that man about the scholarship application? And then what? Are you going to accept? Are you going to swallow your hopes and dreams and be what everyone else wants you to be?”
“I—I don’t know!”
He shook his head ever so slightly. “Stella wouldn’t.”
I hated that he was right, because hewas. Stella would declare her own path, forge her own future. And in theory, I wanted that, but in practice? “I’m not like those people in there,” I told him, willing myself to believe my own words. “I’m not.”
“So, you don’t give fake smiles? No telling people what they want to hear?”
The vise around my chest squeezed hard, knocking all the air. It was as if someone held a mirror to me, but instead of my own reflection I saw someone else’s. My mother’s.
“There’s so much,” he whispered, with eyes as bright as the stars. Harry simply breathed for what felt like an eternity, not speaking. “There’s a chasm between you and me and you don’t even see it.”
“What chasm?” I demanded. “Because I’m a part of this country club? Because of money?”
His frown deepened, expression so sad. “I wish it were that simple.” Harry reached into his pocket, pulling out the valet ticket with a shaking hand. “A chasm, Destelle, and we’re both destined to fall in.”
Sometimes the poetic way he said things was so striking. When he said things melodically, I could almost picture the song being written. I wished I had a way with words like him. Now, though, the poetic tone of his words only hurt, especially when my gaze locked on his hand holding his valet ticket. “What are you doing?”
“I—I need to go.” He closed his eyes, shielding me from the Caribbean blue, and he drew in a deep breath. His body shook, even down to his fingers trembling. “I’m sorry I wasted your time.”
I opened my mouth to say something, something to get him to stay longer and talk this out with me, but Harry had already turned and strode away, hurrying toward the valet booth.
For the longest time, I stood there, even after the valet brought Harry’s sedan around and he climbed inside. I stood there even after his car pulled out of the parking lot. Despite wishing it to the universe, he didn’t put the car into reverse, didn’t turn around.
Deep down, I knew this would happen. Even in the beginning before he knew about Stella and Destelle, I’d been afraid that the truth would freak him out. His words brought that fear to life, left me feeling chilled to the bone.
I’m sorry I wasted your time.
“Destelle?” Jamie’s voice seemed loud in my ear, but I didn’t turn, not until Harry’s car had disappeared entirely. “What happened?”
“Harry had to go home,” I told him, my voice flat in my ears. I could feel the tears in the back of my throat, but none fell from my eyes. They weren’t allowed to. “He wasn’t feeling well.”
When I turned, I found both Jamie and Nellie there. Neither of them had their coats on, but they wore twin expressions of concern. “But we didn’t get to really talk to him.”
“Maybe next time.” Every inch of me felt numb. “Have they served dinner?”
Jamie shifted his weight. “They’re making the announcement.”
I lifted my chin, moving toward the doors that led inside. “I’m starving,” I told them in the same low voice.
As soon as I stepped inside the country club, that was when I began to tremble, knowing that Harry wasn’t there to follow me in.
