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“Well, I’ll leave y’all to it then. Again, if you need anything at all, you know what button to press, right?”
Stephen’s nod was met by a smile and light wave as the nurse departed.
Stephen turned around to look at the two most important people in his life and could not hold the tears that began to fill his eyes. He controlled his emotions as best he could, focusing on moving the chair closer to the bassinet so he could watch his daughter sleep. He kissed Ana on the forehead before taking his seat. Taking his wife’s hand, he stared at their newborn until he fell asleep. Given how dark it was in the room and how exhausting the night had been, that didn’t take very long.
When he awoke the room was bright and the bassinet was empty. Panic shot through his body but when he turned around and saw Ana holding the baby, it subsided.
“Well, isn’t she just the most beautiful little thing you’ve ever seen?” Ana couldn’t take her eyes off her baby.
Stephen smiled and stood up, stiff from having slept in a chair. He made his way around the hospital bed and laid down next to Ana. Wrapping an arm around her, he gave his wife a kiss and joined her in admiring their daughter as she slept.
“She really is something,” Stephen said as they gazed on the infant’s sleeping face.
“You know, the nurses are going to need a name soon. I think Emily suits her perfectly. Don’t you?”
“Aww, that’s the perfect name for her. Our little Emily.” Ana replied in a hushed tone as she gently rubbed noses with her daughter.
Stephen cocked his head, and the smile on his face was replaced by a confused expression, his mouth slightly open and his eyebrows scrunched.
“I am glad you didn’t decide on a name without me. Thank you, sweetie.” Ana turned her head up for another kiss.
“I-uh, I would never make a huge decision like that without talking with you first.”
Stephen leaned back as the two proud parents welcomed their child to the world.
* * *
“The good times were rare after that.” Stephen flexed an eyebrow.
He could sense by my expression that I didn’t understand what he meant. Eyebrows scrunched together, I stared at him curiously, waiting for him to continue.
He sighed. “I knew something was wrong when I told her Emily’s name. Somehow, she didn’t remember that we’d chosen the name together before she was born. Ana always loved the name Emily, and she was adamant that if the baby was a girl she’d have to be named Emily. Ana always loved that name. It was one of the first things she told me when we started dating.” Stephen paused for a second, moistened his lips, and gathered his breath before continuing.
“She started to forget a lot after that.” He paused again, glancing over at the window then looking back at his hands before meeting my eyes once more. “I didn’t think too much of it at first. She only forgot little things, like stuff I’d ask her to get from the store or conversations we’d had a few days before or even a few hours before. Those little things too started to happen more often, from once or twice a month to almost every day. Those first months went by so fast with a newborn that the little arguments about her forgetting something just quickly were swept aside with the infinite needs of a child. I didn’t even realize what was happening to her until one sunday morning that I will never forget.
“I was the first to wake up, same as every weekend since I’d gotten used to the ritual from the early hours at the construction site. So, I went to the kitchen and began making breakfast, like usual. I usually tried to go above and beyond for her whenever I cooked because she cooked for me all the time, but with a newborn and a tight budget, I was too exhausted, and our fridge too barren to make anything extravagant. I decided just to make some French toast.
Ana and I loved music, especially waking up to it, so just before the food was ready, I would put on a record and aim the speaker at the bedroom hallway so it would be a kind of soothing alarm clock. It worked almost every time. Ana would run down to meet me before the first chorus was even finished, and we we’d dance while finishing up the meal together.
“This morning was different though. She didn’t come down after the first song had finished, which I thought was strange, but since the last few slices hadn’t finish browning, I figured to give her a little longer and maybe she’d join me for the second song.
“She didn’t. All the toast had finished cooking, and I’d plated everything and set the table for the three of us. I heard crying, and figured it had to be Emily, so I ran up to see. I saw her sitting up in her crib, waiting for someone to come and get her. I instantly knew something was wrong—Ana always came and checked up on her first thing in the morning. I picked Emily up and called out for Ana, walking to our bedroom, where I found her standing beside the nightstand, gazing out the window.
“She seemed peaceful but somehow different. I called her name again, which made her spin around suddenly, and all the peace morphed into terror. She didn’t recognize me. She thought I was an intruder in her house. She didn’t recognize Emily either but demanded I handed her over, thinking I couldn’t be trusted with an infant. She just kept screaming, eventually calling 911.
“It felt like the police took an eternity to get there, but eventually they made it, and with all the screaming and crying I couldn’t even hear when they arrived. They ended up breaking down the door when they heard the screams and tackled me even though most of the room separated us already. As they carried me out, I tried explaining that we were married but she no longer remembered me. Still, it wasn’t until they saw our photos hanging on the wall that they eased their grip. They still put me in the back of a squad car to help calm down Ana then escorted us all to the hospital, where doctors diagnosed her with severe dementia.
“She came around a few hours later, which was almost as bad as her episode. She was heartbroken to hear what she’d done and the way she treated me, bawling her eyes out as she hugged me.” Stephen stopped speaking, clenching his jaw shut.
I didn’t know what to say to him. The only words I was able to muster up were, “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to say that.” He was still visibly tense. “No one could have controlled it the doctors said. They had no idea what caused it, and there was absolutely no way of preventing it, and eventually, it happened a lot. Soon, she didn’t even remember who she was most days, and the days that she did became sweet, rare moments that we cherished together. But even those moments became spoiled as she grew more and more depressed, hating herself for not being able to remember her own family. Sometimes it was easier to be around her when she didn’t remember at all than to see her falling out of love with herself.
“I did my best to assure her that she had nothing to be upset over, but it was pretty much useless. She would only listen to whatever demons she’d created in her head, and a week after Emily’s first birthday party, I woke up to an empty bed, and I found her body hanging in the garage.”
