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CHAPTER 28
Merrick
Three years ago
It had been three days with no change.
I stood back, watching the group of doctors who came by each day for their morning rounds. Dr. Rosen lifted one of Amelia’s eyes open and moved a pen light back and forth. First one, then the other. The frown gave me the answer before he even spoke.
“No change,” he said. “I’m sorry.”
I nodded.
He looked me up and down. “Have you left the hospital yet?”
“No.”
“It looks like this is going to be a long haul. You might want to consider getting some rest. If you don’t take care of yourself at the beginning of the marathon, you won’t make it the full distance.”
I nodded. “I don’t want to leave her alone in case she wakes up. Her friend is coming today, so maybe I’ll leave for a while then.”
Dr. Rosen lifted the iPad he always carried around and started to type into it. “I’d like to consider starting her on a course of methylphenidate. It’s a central nervous system stimulant. In some cases, it can help bring the person out of a coma. We’re not there yet, but it’s something for you to consider, maybe in a few more days if there are no new developments.”
“Okay… And that’s safe with the baby?”
“There’s a recent study that showed it to be relatively safe during pregnancy.”
“Relatively?”
“There are possible side effects with just about any medication. It’s rare, but medications in this class can cause heart defects in an unborn child, though what’s been studied is mostly the effects in the first trimester, which Amelia is past.”
I blew out a deep breath. “What if we don’t give it to her?”
“Well, there are a lot of very real risks for long-term coma patients. Blood clots, infection, loss of higher brain function…” He paused and looked over at Amelia. “We’re not there yet. But these decisions are hard, and it often takes a family time to make them. As Amelia’s health care proxy, that falls to you. So it’s something to start considering.”
I sighed. “Okay.”
Dr. Rosen took a small pad out of his pocket and jotted something before ripping the sheet off and holding it out to me. “This is the name of the drug and a website where you can read up about it.”
“Thanks.”
After he left, I walked back over to the bed and stared down at Amelia’s belly. The bump was barely visible, especially with the blankets over it. It was bad enough I had to make life and death decisions for her, someone whom I suddenly felt like I’d never known at all. But now I had to make decisions for a child who might not even be mine.
• • •
Colette stopped at the door, staring at Amelia a moment before walking into the small, glass ICU room.
“Hey.” She forced a smile. “How are you holding up?”
I was a fucking wreck, yet I nodded. “I’m hanging in there.”
She set her purse down on a visitor’s chair, walked over to the bed, and took Amelia’s hand. Tears fell from her cheeks. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get back sooner.”
Colette had been off work this week to take care of her mom, who’d had major neck and spine surgery yesterday. But we’d spoken every day since the accident. She was one of Amelia’s few friends, and they were pretty close.
“How’s your mom doing?”
“She’s okay. They moved her out of the ICU last night into a surgical unit. So that’s good.”
