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| 21
First quarter is over, and I am over the moon!
I passed my classes this quarter with flying colors, even after falling behind while out of the country.Call it a comeback. Now I can enjoy the time off, and most importantly, I get to hang out with my friends.
“So what are we doing tonight? Finals are over, and I’m ready to get lit,” Taya says. Sarah and I both look at her.
“Taya, this isn’t Europe. We’re not going to party like it’s 1999.” This makes Sarah laugh, causing Taya to glare at her. “Besides...Nick’s having a party at his villa. Would you guys wanna go?” Sarah gives me a suggestive smirk, irking me. “Don’t give me that look.”
“What look?” I just look at her. “Look, I’m just happy that you guys are talking again. Everything seems...normalagain.”
My little redhead is happy. She’s such a peacemaker. I love both my girls so much. In the last year, it seemed like we were pulling away from each other more and more. Getting involved with the hockey guys was probably the most destructive thing to do. I learned a lot from it, but it temporarily strained our relationships.
“I’ve really missed you girls, you know. We went through a lot in the last school year.” I meet Taya’s gaze, and she gives me a small smile. I really was overreacting about her and Jake kissing. That wasn’t even really what drove us apart. We’re just too different.
But that doesn’t destroy my feelings for him.
“We’ve missed you too, Leia. But enough about that! What are we wearing to the party tonight?”
And just like that, Sarah is suggesting the clothes we should coordinate on.
Nick’s villa is exactly the same as it’s always been: a frat boy hotspot. It’s like walking into a nightclub, except it’s more upscale. The three of us walk into his family’s mansion, and this is the most happening I’ve ever seen his parties. What the hell changed?College, you dope. I was gone for most of fall, and I didn’t even realize that life was still going on outside of Slovakia. But as I look around his living room and scour the dancing bodies, it’s clear that Nick’s villa is the new college hotspot.
“I’m gonna get a drink from the bar. Do you guys want anything?” Taya yells over the loud music. I shake my head no, and Sarah asks for a vodka tonic. I roll my eyes. These girls are going to get us in trouble.
We walk farther into the living room and sit down on the couch. I accidentally bump into a couple making out on my side, and the girl glares at me. I glare back at her, and she rolls her eyes.What a cliché. I shake my head, trying to hide my laughter.
“Leia, you never told me you dated a rich guy!” Sarah yells.
I roll my eyes at this. She knew Nick was rich. We all went to the same high school, so I don’t know her confusion.
“Yes, I did,” I laugh out. “You just didn’t knowhowrich.” Nick’s parents are defense attorneys. They own their own firm, Swanson & Co., in Sherman Oaks.
“How do you get these guys? First Nicholas Swanson, now you get a hockey prospect. Tell me your secrets.”
I can’t help but laugh at this. She’s being dramatic. Although it’s a good question. Jake’s father is a Hall of Famer. And yet...neither one of my relationships with them worked out. What does that say aboutme?
“I honestly don’t know, Sarah. But as you can see, I couldn’t keep either of them.” Suddenly, I’m introspective. It weirds me out that I dated two guys from very high-profile backgrounds, but neither one of them were into me enough to continue dating me. Dating meseriously, anyway. I shake my head of my thoughts and suddenly make eye contact with Sarah. She’s giving me a concerned look. “What?”
“You really don’t think highly of yourself, do you?” It seems like a genuine concern. I’m not really sure how to answer it.
“I mean—”
“Leia...you’re beautiful, you’re smart, you have akickasspersonality, you’re caring. What are you not seeing in yourself?”
I swallow and look down. “ I’ve proven that I’m not even deserving of two great guys. I think that’s more telling, don’t you think?” She gives me another look of concern. I hate when she and Taya do this. It’s like I’m the little sister. “Please stop looking at me like that.”
“I love you, Leia. You’re my best friend. I really wish you could see what an amazing girl you are. Everyone else sees it. Why can’t you?” She gives me a small smile before giving me a hug. Tears begin to brim in my eyes, and I’m forced to wipe them. She gets up and disappears into the crowd.Here I am, alone. As always. She’s absolutely right. This view I have of myself isn’t healthy. I need to get out of this slump.
Getting up, I walk outside into the backyard and look at everyone in the pool. I sit down on one of the pool chairs and look out. If the sun were out, it would feel like heaven right now. But it’s winter and cold. The dress I’m wearing isn’t doing a ton to keep me warm. I’m wearing a long trench coat, but that isn’t doing anything either.
This is what you get for listening to Sarah about coordinating outfits.
I’m completely shaking in the California cold, and I hate it. Is there no warm area in Malibu?Yeah, this was a bad idea. I get up to go back inside where it’s moderately warm, but I freeze when my eyes find two familiar bodies grinding against each other in the pool.
Jake Larson and Stephanie are basically screwing each other in the pool in front of me. What’s more, two other girls join them in their little weird dance party. What the hell is Jake doing at a party at Nick’s house? Did I miss something in the last week?
It’s when he leans in and puts his face in her neck that I quickly bolt into the house. More instances than I liked have I watched a guy I dated kiss another girl in a pool. This time, it hurts more.
