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“She’s got a fucking boyfriend,”I exhale as I loudly crash down on Donna’s couch.
“And good morning to you too, Max.” she says with a sassy smile.
“Sorry, Dons. It’s just knocked me for six a bit.” I admit.
“Okay. Who’s got a boyfriend? Alison? Cassy?”
“Well of course Cassy has. But no Ali. Ali is seeing someone,” I say with all of the upset and regret I can muster in my voice. Because of course she wouldn’t wait for me, of course she’d move on. Any man would be lucky to have her on his arm. She’s beautiful, curvy and so damn smart. Of course, someone would snap up a girl like her as soon as she was available.
“Okay. How do you know that?” Her blue eyes drill into me, she’s got one of those faces that I don’t even think I could lie to even if I wanted to.
“I was at a stupid function thing last night for the label.”
“With the band?” Her voice almost sounds optimistic.
“No, just me. Preston and Titch said it would be good PR to be seen at functions and parties drinking very little and smiling like a puppet.”
“Okay, so you met Alison at this party?”
“Yeah, I was sober as a fucking judge, and she was just as gorgeous as I remember. If not more.”
Donna nods. “Okay, and what did you say? What did you talk about?”
“She’s coming to my house tonight,” I say triumphantly. Like I’ve won a prize or something. I kind of feel like I have, though.
“Well, surely, that’s a positive? It will give you a chance to tell her how you feel. You’ve said you’ve been wanting to apologise,” she reminds me.
“I tried to last night, but she wouldn’t listen.”
“Well, maybe the label’s function wasn’t the right setting?”
“Maybe. What should I do?”
“What do you want to do, Max?” she asks.
“I want everything to go back to normal. To be on stage with my three best friends. Singing, rocking. Fucking slaying it.”
“But this is normal now, Max.”
“It’s like after my mum died my life started taking a downward spiral.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I was trying to cling on. Trying to hold it all together. For my sake and for Cassy’s. If I can’t be strong, then she certainly can’t. But then she fucked it up by lying about being with Finch. Then I fucked up with Ali, and it was the straw that broke the camel’s back, and everything just came tumbling down around me.”
“Did she lie about it, Cassy?”
“Well…” I pause, hating her questioning eyes drilling into me.
“Did she?”
“Well, no, but she didn’t tell the truth either.”
“Did you ask her?”
“Well, no.” I know my answer’s bullshit. I know it.
“And how do you know Cassy wasn’t trying to piece her life together too. Her life collapsed the day your mum died too. From how she saw it you had the band, your house, your career. What did she have?”
“She had me. She didn’t need Finch. I could look after her,” I assure Donna, wanting her to understand. She gives me that look again, it’s not overly sympathetic. It’s that challenging empathy.
“But that’s your life not hers. She needed to form a life for herself. Needed to make her own way. Not follow in your shadow forever. She’s a woman, Max. Not a little girl.”
“I— I never looked at it like that.”
“She wasn’t calling for someone to look after her. She had a big brother. She wanted someone to love her. Treat her like a woman. Like a real human and not a sad foster kid whose Mum had died and who’s big brother was famous.”
“Well, Finch is just as famous as me and she’s known him forever. She knew he was safe.”
“Exactly, Max. He could see past that. He wasn’t star struck by you as he’d been with you for the whole time.”
