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She asks me, her voice still sharp but there is a softness to it. I’m not sure I’ll ever crack down her walls, from the way Ali’s been nervous since we’ve been here, I don’t think she’s ever done it. But her gorgeous green eyes find mine and she gives me that look. A little like the look Cassy gave Finch the other night. Like I hung the sun in the sky.
If I had, I’d have done it all for her.
She smiles at me as I nod. I know she’s telling me I can do it, and I will because I’m not sure if my kick-arse beautiful angel has the strength to tell her own mother. My heart breaks a little for her that she’s probably never felt the all-consuming love I did as a young teenager of fourteen when Sarah adopted us and I finally felt what love and family was.
I nod again, a little more firmly this time.
“Yes, Mrs Cannock. I do. For her, for me, and for the beautiful baby growing inside of her.” I step closer towards Ali, weave an arm around her shoulder, and she moulds into my side as I place a kiss on her cheek. Her hand finds her stomach and strokes her barely-visible, tiny bump as her other arm weaves around my waist.
“We’re still working things out. Us as well as other things but we wanted to come and tell you. Before you read the news in those red tops and gossip columns you love so much. Mum, it’s your decision now if you want to be part of this wonderful journey with us or not. But Max and I are having a baby, who we already adore with every single fibre of our beings.”
My heart swells a little. Fuck it. A lot. I feel a hot tear building in my eye and I’m unsure if Mrs Cannock is the type to appreciate a man crying or not. She looks stoic. Silent and unmoving. I don’t know if she’s ever going to say anything but as I stare at Ali, I wish the world could see her the way I’m seeing her right now. Bold and beautiful as normal but with her heart in her eyes. Adoring the world and this intense longing to be accepted by her mother. For her mum to be okay with this because it’s clearly so damn important to her—acceptance.
Dammit she is so beautiful. How could a mother not love everything about a daughter like her? I’ve never even doubted she’ll be everything as a mother. But the look of love, confusion, and a little hurt she has currently in her eyes confirms it all. I’m not sure if my body is moving on its own or if it’s really me doing it but I’m moving closer towards her. I want my body to block hers. To take all of the hurt. I want to feel it, so she doesn’t have to, so she doesn’t even need to.
“I’m going to need some time to think about this,” she finally says, and I go to open my mouth, but Ali gets there first.
“Time to think about what, Mother? Think about if you want to accept this news? Accept our baby into your life. What, Mother? What can you possibly have to think about?” I hear the sass she’s given me for the past god knows how many years come out and now is really not the time to be so damn turned on.
“I think that maybe you should think about this. If you wanted to be tied to this man for the rest of your life?”
“With all due respect, Mrs Cannock. It’s not for you to question Ali’s or my intentions. This is our baby and our life. We’re just giving you the chance to be part of it and nothing else.”
“If she wants to be tethered to you then that’s her mistake to make and not mine. If she’s not stupid she’ll be tying you down to some form of commitment that is all easy to say you agree to, but I know your type, Baines. The glamour, the sex, the drugs will probably be far too appealing for you to give up.”
“Mrs Cannock, I—” I start, what I’m trying to say I don’t know. But I know I love Ali even if I can’t really say it out loud without putting this whole thing madly out of proportion and probably making Ali run for the hills. But I’d marry her tomorrow.
Fuck it. I’d marry her now.
