AllFreeNovel
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“FUCK!”
I scream.
Fuck this. The bottle of bourbon I know is in the back of the cupboard screams at me to drink it. It calls me, crawls underneath my skin. I prowl to my bedroom. Rip off my shirt, shove down my jeans and my boxers. Pull on my running gear. My trainers. Fuck this. Fuck them. Fuck it all.
Pounding the pavements of London late at night feels good. Concentrating on my breathing and not my fucked-up head. My messed-up feelings. I run along the river. Around Canary Wharf. How far I’ve run, I can’t say. I just don’t stop. It’s late, really late, but there’s people about in bars and on their terraces. Drinking, smiling, loving life. I pass by them all in a blur.Slipknotpounding in my ears through my headphones.Corey Taylor, a hero of mine, growling into my ears,Joey Jordisondrumming a beat that just keeps my feet pounding as I pass by Big Ben. The massive clock that looms over all of London reminding me of the late hour and just how far I’ve travelled. It’s got to be at least five miles from my house. But I don’t stop. I just keep running.
My chest aches, my breath comes in hot spurts, my feet burn. By the time I’m back at my apartment my hands can barely grip the door to open it. I don’t feel free, I don’t feel better. My body’s broken; my heads not sated but I didn’t touch the bottle.
I shower and drag my shattered body to bed, falling into a deep yet somehow deprived sleep. Dreaming of a life that is right. Where I get the girl, where my friends still see me as just that. Where my sister smiles. Where I’m the one putting my baby to bed while my best friends laugh and smile in my living room.
