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I stared down at the picture of my parents, tears burning in my eyes.
They said with time, all wounds healed, but I just continuously bled.
All of my so-called friends were home from college for the Christmas holidays, but I’d dropped out two months ago, too screwed up after the death of my parents to continue on with school like everything was okay.
Because it wasn’t. And two months later, it wasn’t any easier.
I’d lost them so abruptly. They’d been killed by a drunk driver on the way to come see me for the weekend. We had always been a very tight family, and every month, they picked a weekend to come see me at college.
Now, I had no one.
I set the picture down, a tear running down my cheek. I quickly swiped it away. I was so sick of crying, so sick of the sadness, but I didn’t know what else to feel.
My phone went off on the counter beside me, and I looked at the screen. Ryker, my best friend, was calling me. He would be home today. I knew that. He’d sent me messages telling me.
But I’d ignored all of them.
Sniffling, I turned my phone off, not wanting to be bothered. I swiped at my cheeks and headed for my room, just wanting to sleep. It was the only solace I found these days. Being awake was too damn hard.
Depression was a slow killer, and while I knew it was killing me, I didn’t care. Maybe things would be fucking easier if I was dead.
“Brandy!” I heard Ryker shout. I jerked in surprise. A moment later, I heard him pounding on my front door. I stared at it with wide eyes. “I know you’re in there! Get your ass out here! Stop fucking ignoring me, dammit!”
Fuck. Ryker had reached the limit of his patience with me, and an impatient, aggravated Ryker wasn’t an easy one to deal with. He could be a real douchebag when he wanted to be. But he had also been the only person that ever understood me while we were growing up. Suffering from depression and anxiety had worn me down most days. And he’d been the only person to . . . understand, I guess.
But this? There was no cure for the shit I was feeling. Even Ryker couldn’t help me.
Drawing in a deep breath, I walked towards the door when he pounded again, his hits getting more and more impatient. I unlocked the front door, and it swung open, almost hitting me in the face. He ran his eyes over me, clenching his jaw. There was a storm raging in the dark depths of his eyes, and it made my pulse skyrocket.
Ryker had always been good-looking. In my eyes, no one compared to him. But when he was angry, he could be downright terrifying.
“That’s it,” he snarled, walking into the house and slamming the front door shut behind him. I flinched. “This is enough. You’re packing a fucking bag. You and I are spending Christmas break together.”
I frowned up at his angry face. His hair was dark, cropped close on the sides, longer on top. He was tall – built slim, yet still muscular – and he towered over me. Today, he was wearing a plain, gray, long-sleeve shirt and a pair of dark-wash jeans, his Vans on his feet.
“But your family—” I blurted.
He shook his head and grabbed my arm, steering me down the hall towards my room. His grip was tight, but I didn’t have the bravery to open my mouth and tell him.
“Don’t give a fuck,” he retorted. “They can spend Christmas without me. You and I are going to the cabin for the week. We’re working through this shit in your head, you hear me?” He dropped my arm and walked over to my closet, snatching down my suitcase. He dropped it on my bed, unzipped it, and pointed at it, his hard eyes locked on mine. “Pack. You better be up there tomorrow, you hear me? If you’re not there by nine tomorrow night, I’ll come after you.”
He stepped closer to me. My breath hitched in my throat as I stared up at him, trembling beneath his intense stare. I’d always been in love with Ryker, but I wouldn’t destroy our friendship by letting him know. But when he did things like this, it was so hard to hide it from him.
He took away my need to think, to have to be in control. And when he did, it felt so damn good. I felt like I could fucking breathe again.
He gripped my chin, forcing my eyes up to his. “Don’t make me come after you, little star,” he said, calling me by his nickname for me. I never knew why he called me that; he just always had.
With that, he walked out of my room. I heard the front door shut behind him a moment later. I jumped when he pounded once on the door. “Come lock this!” he barked.
I quickly walked towards the front door and clicked it locked without hesitation. A moment later, I heard his truck start up, and he backed out of the driveway.
Ryker’s family owned a cabin deep in the mountains. It was always beautiful around Christmas time, and it was one of my favorite places in the world. Ryker knew this, which was probably why he told me to meet him here.
I always found comfort in the silence of the mountains with nothing but nature to judge me.
I parked my vehicle beside his truck and stepped out of my car, grabbing my suitcase from the backseat. I looked around me at the snow-covered ground. The trees were bare of leaves, and I saw a couple of deer staring back at me.
It was secluded here – wasn’t anything around for miles – which made it easier to breathe. I fucking hated society and its judgment.
