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16
June, Two Weeks To Go…
It’s never too late. It had become like a mantra between them at this stage. Iris was thinking about them one afternoon, as she tucked away the rocking horse in the little cottage after a family had booked out. The words rolled about in her mind and the horse slipped from her arms when she realised that the only thing stopping her was the notion that she was waiting for the time to be right. It seemed the whole world around her ground to a resounding halt. Wasn’t that the excuse Myles had always thrown at her? The time never seemed to be right as far as having a baby was concerned.
Iris dropped into the narrow bedroom chair, feeling like she’d been struck by some profound understanding that had always been there, if only she’d taken the time to see it. Maybe there was no right or wrong time – maybe there was just time, and she was running out of it. She took a deep breath, threw her shoulders back and smiled. This washertime. And she was ready to have a family of her own.
A few days later, Iris was still mulling over the best way to go about things as she walked along the beach with Nola and Georgie. It felt like they were making up for lost time. They had decided, together, that there was no point regretting the years when they’d resented each other so much. All they had was the here and now, gifted to them by their wonderful father. They were making the most of it too, walking the beach together and staying up very late drinking too much and talking about all and nothing.
She’d told them everything. Far more than she would have if alcohol hadn’t allowed her to lower her guard, and they had been just lovely. Nola had cried when Iris talked about how much she’d wanted children. It was still a physical pain, the fact that she had lost something that was meant to be a part of her life, resurrected to hurt her again now that Myles was throwing her sacrifice back in her face with Amanda.
It was time to think of making the most of her own life now and fashioning it into something she wanted, not just what Myles let her have. And so, with Georgie’s help she began to look into what might just be possible. Night after night, it was Georgie who kept researching, emailing and filling in what soon seemed to Iris to be an endless number of forms. Within a week they had narrowed things down quite a bit.
It didn’t matter how old the child was. At the end of the day, what mattered was that Iris could take care of someone, love them and feel what it was to be a mother. Age, or colour or sex was completely beside the point – Iris knew that whatever child came her way, she would love them with all her heart and she knew Georgie would also.
A week later, Iris’s thoughts were racing about her mind because there had been an email from one of the agencies. It was tentative, maybe the first of many, which might lead to nothing more than a conversation, but she couldn’t help but feel hopeful. She decided she would keep it to herself, at least until there was something more concrete to share – otherwise, Georgie could burst with expectation.
She had suggested a walk on the beach, as much to clear her own mind as to stop her rereading the email over and over again. Iris thought that walking along here was perfect. Summer had finally arrived in Ballycove. The waves had that salty smell of their childhood and even if they didn’t have the beach to themselves, Iris loved the feel of the sand, soft and dry beneath her feet. They had walked for miles and were linking each other back up the steps to the main road when she spotted a familiar figure bent across the wall watching them. Iris blinked, not sure if it was a trick of the sunlight, but then her stomach turned over and that familiar feeling of dread rose up in her throat. ‘Myles,’ she said darkly, making her sisters look up, and it felt as if every bit of resolve and strength sapped from her in that moment.
‘Where?’ Georgie said, picking up pace and dragging Iris in her wake.
‘I don’t believe it. Surely he’d never have the nerve to turn up here,’ Nola was saying, but she was almost out of breath, such was the steam with which Georgie was pulling them forward. If he was within a five-mile radius he’d be wise to turn and run quickly, before Georgie caught up to him.
‘Sorry, it must be a trick of the light,’ Iris said squinting towards the pier road. There was no-one there at all, or no-one that she could see at any rate. ‘I need to get my eyes tested. I could have sworn I saw him standing against the wall watching us.’ She shivered. The last thing they needed was him turning up here.
‘Hopefully, you’ve seen the last of him now. From what you say, he won’t want to dig up any more worms that might end up costing him more in the divorce,’ Georgie said and somehow her composure was contagious and Iris laughed off the silly notion of him making his way to Ballycove of all places.
They walked on; up towards the huge boulders that formed a stout defence against the cliff face before the barrier wall had been erected. Iris loved it here, looking out across the vastness of the ocean. ‘So, I’ve made up my mind too.’ Iris said the words softly, but there was no breeze to carry them away today. ‘I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.’
‘You’re going to stay in Ballycove? That’s the best news ever!’ Georgie’s mouth drew up into a wide smile and they both looked at Nola then. ‘So, it’s up to you, little sister. What could we do to make you think about staying on in Ballycove?’
‘Oh, I don’t know if I’m quite ready to settle here yet,’ Nola said, but Iris had a feeling Ballycove could be the best place for Nola too, if only she’d let herself see it. Still, if she’d learned anything over the last number of weeks it was when to say less and keep her opinions to herself. Even if Nola returned to London at the end of the summer there was nothing to stop her coming back here in a year or two, or ten if it came to it, so long as they never again lost sight of that promise they’d made years earlier and continued to remain close.
‘What about you, Iris? Will you just run the gate lodge or have you plans to build a new Delahaye empire?’ Georgie was joking, but Iris knew her sister was concerned for her.
‘If all comes to all, I’ll see if I can’t get a job in the local distillery!’ Iris joked. ‘No. Seriously, I’ll be all right. Whatever the future holds, I know I don’t want to live in London anymore. I want to be here, with the Atlantic on my doorstep in a village where I know people and they know me.’
‘Well, what with our inheritance as well, you certainly won’t be on the breadline,’ Nola said, then she bit her lip, because it was the one thing they’d skirted about – how they would divide the estate evenly between them.
‘I won’t be in any rush to get my hands on that,’ Iris said softly. There would be enough to live on for some time yet with the proceeds from the divorce. ‘I think we have a lot of talking to do before we decide how we’re going to handle the Delahaye legacy.’
‘So long as that soon-to-be ex-husband of yours doesn’t get his hands on a penny of it, I think we’ll all be quite pleased,’ Georgie said, and then her eyes darted along the top of the wall behind them.
‘Don’t tell me, you’re seeing things too?’ Iris laughed.
‘Old age, just like you. We probably both need to have our eyes tested.’ Georgie shook her head. ‘It’s a good thing we have Nola here or God knows where we’d end up.’ They started to laugh at that.
‘You’d better make the most of me while I’m here so,’ Nola said, but it seemed to Iris as if her voice had broken off into that faraway sound, as if she was already drifting from them.
‘You know, Nola…’ Georgie pulled them all to a stop and stood for a moment looking out to sea as if she was gathering up the force of the Atlantic itself to say what was on her mind. ‘You could always stay… if the numbers keep growing in the drama school, you could make a great success of it.’ It was true, already having just opened for enrolments, it looked as if Nola would have to have three separate sessions and that was just in Ballycove. There was nothing to stop her opening up a class in any of the other nearby villages also.
‘Oh, no.’ Nola laughed. ‘I couldn’t possibly stay. I mean, I have to go back to London, and anyway…’
‘Anyway?’ Iris was pretty sure there was no other anyway, but she wouldn’t say that for all the world.
‘Well, what is there for me here? I mean, I can see why you two are choosing to stay what with between the distillery for Georgie and your plans for the cottage and a baby, but me? I’m just?’ What? What was she? Drifting? Passing through?
‘This is your home too,’ Georgie said firmly. ‘We don’t have to sell up, you know; we could just keep on going like this.’ She tore her gaze from the waves crashing far out in the sea.
