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It hits me in that moment. Seymour wasn’t being selfish. He was being the farthest from it. Yes, his decision to not pursue us impacted me, but in all honesty, if it came to having to choose between my grandma getting what she wanted or me, I’d choose her every single time.
That’s love. Which means, “You love me?”
“Completely.”
“But you’d rather be in pain than take a chance, even the slightest possibility, that we wouldn’t work out and have that impact your grandpa.”
“Yeah. Stupid, huh?”
“A bit,” I admit, earning a hmph from Seymour. “What? You asked,” I defend myself. “I’m not saying I agree with your choice, nor that you didn’t talk to me and give me one, too.”
“Then whatareyou saying?”
“That I get it.”
“Okay then.”
“What changed? Why, all of a sudden, are you ready to try?”
“I realized that I was worried for nothing.” I quirk a brow, waiting,urging, him to continue. “My reasoning was legitimate. There was just more to it than I knew. It’s a tale of woe as old as time.” Having discussed our respective parents, and the effects our individual upbringings had on us, I’m beginning to see what the underlying issue is. I want to give voice to it, to make it easier on him, but I have the feeling he needs to do that on his own. “My dad and mom couldn’t care less about me and theyhaveto love me. You don’t.” The tension in his shoulders tells me how hard that was for him to express.
“But I do.” He stares at me, trying to decipher the meaning behind my statement. “Not only do I get to love you, but I have to because you’re Seymour and I’m Hannah. We are meant to be. I knew it the first time I heard your voice.” Debating on whether to proceed, I waver back and forth before finally deciding to go all in. “Your parents love you and you them.”
“Yes.”
“That doesn’t mean the bond that’s supposed to be there is. There can be a familial love without it. The connection isn’t as strong as it should be, but it is there nonetheless. It’s something I had to accept.”
“And did you?”
“I’m getting there,” I confess, not wanting him to think I’ve made my peace with the lack of the type of relationship I’d prefer to have with my parents.
“Can you help me reach that point?”
“I can’t,” I tell him. “Only you can do that. However, I will be by your side while you do.”
“And after?”
“And forever after.”
