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“Of course, there’s a vibrant rental market, because of the university in town.If you wanted to keep it as an investment, I’m sure you could hire a property manager.I bet someone in that business would be able to help with the renovation as well.”
Though she hadn’t asked a question, I knew what she was asking.“I haven’t decided what I’m going to do with the place yet, Mom.”
“Fine.Fine, of course, it’s your decision.I’m just trying to help, dear.Take your time,” she said generously, as though I needed her permission.“Though, of course, you’re flying back Sunday, so you’ll probably want to decide soon.”
“Right.”Screw waiting.I pushed down on the press, practically salivating as the smell of fresh coffee melded with the fresh morning air.
“Youarecoming back on Sunday?”
“That’s the plan.”I had pushed my ticket back to give myself a few more days.Now my mother was sure that I was planning to stay out here forever.“I should probably get to work, Mom.I’ve got a lot to do.”
“I could come out and help you,” she offered.
“No,” I said.I didn’t want my mother to see what had become of my father.And I wouldn’t be able to hide my own interest in his research.“I can handle it on my own.”
She sighed.“You sound just like your father.”
I pressed two fingers in between my eyebrows.Whenever I did something my mother didn’t like, she said I reminded her of my father.It was never a compliment.“The sooner I am done here, the sooner I’ll be home.”
She made a fretful noise.“I hate that you’re so far away.”
“Is that why you never sent me out here to visit him?”
I hadn’t meant to say it.I’d long since accepted my father wasn’t a part of my life.
“There was never enough time,” my mom argued.“Or enough money.”
I played with the tie on my father’s robe.“I wish I had known him better.”
My mother sighed.“I wish that too, honey.”
“It’s not his fault he was mentally ill,” I said.
“He refused treatment, Edith.”Her tone had gotten short, as it always did when we talked about my father.“Medication, therapy, hospitalization—he refused all of it.I didn’t divorce him because he started suffering delusions.I divorced him because he refused to treat them.I had to think of your safety.”
“I get it, I know,” I said.They weren’t even words, not really—they were sounds I used to calm my mother down.“What do you have planned for the day?”
“Oh, I’m off today, so I’ve got some errands to run.Tonight, I’m going to that concert I told you about.”As my mother chattered, I let my eyes drift over the wall of mountains in the distance.I’d already mapped a route to the area where my parents had been when my father claimed to see a shifter.It was less than two hours north, deeper into those mountains.
It hadn’t escaped my notice that it was the same area where my father had stuck a hundred pins in his map.
“I’m going to send you his contact information.”
“What?Sorry, Mom, whose contact information?”
“The realtor I was just telling you about, Edith,” she said.“I swear, you never listen to me.He’s local to Baltimore, so he won’t know anything about your market, but he can point you in the right direction.”
“Oh.Right.Thanks,” I said.“Did you look at that picture I sent?”
“What?Oh.”Her end fell silent for a moment as she pulled up the picture out of our text chain.“Wow.Montana.”
“Right?”
“I didn’t have the best time there,” she said, “but there’s no denying that it’s gorgeous.”
“I’ve never been out west before.I’m ashy as hell,” I said, making her laugh.
“I’ll send you some of that lotion you like.”
“I can just order it, Mom.”
“I’ll send it to you,” she said, reminding me why I loved her.I could be sure there’d be a package on the porch the next day.She could be overbearing and insensitive, but she’d never let me want for anything.She’d been the sort of mother who thought about me first, always.
We said our goodbyes.I had a ton of things to work on inside, but for a moment, I simply stood on my father’s porch, drinking my father’s coffee, wearing my father’s robe.
Wondering what sort of father he’d have been, if he’d had the chance.
