Page 40 of Shake Up My Life


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CHAPTERTWENTY

RIFF

Iget ready to leave for Louisiana, giving Tanner an envelope of cash and the keys to my 1979 F350 XLT 4x4. It’s lifted with big tires, painted blue, and I only drive it around sparingly. It’s not something that I use daily. I’m not sure how well she drives. Her brother let her drive his car, so I’m trusting her not to fuck up my favorite possession other than my bike.

We don’t talk about last night. I’m not even sure what to say at this point. I can tell that she’s clearly bothered, but I don’t have the time or a clear enough head to discuss it all with her.

Standing outside of the clubhouse, I turn to her. “I’ll be back in a few days. We’ll look for a place then and move out. I know you don’t really want to stay here, but it’s only temporary. Prez knows you’re here and he said he’d try to get his old lady and his daughter out here so that you can meet some of the rest of the family.”

She nods her head but doesn’t say anything. She’s good and pissed at me about last night, giving me the silent treatment. Extending my arm, I wrap my hand around her waist and tug her close to me.

Dipping my chin, I look down into her eyes. Wordlessly, I shift closer to her, my mouth touching hers before I speak. Maybe if I give her a good kiss, be extra nice to her, sweet even as she claims me to be, though I think maybe she’s regretting thinking that at this point.

“Be back soon, then we’ll talk.”

“Okay,” she says, finally speaking to me. It’s only one word, but right now I’ll take it.

Clearing my throat, I shift my head back slightly and look into her eyes. “Buttercup, whatever you’re thinking, don’t. We’re going to be fine. It’s all good, Tanner.”

I’m not sure if my words give her any sense of comfort or relief, because the expression she’s wearing hasn’t changed even a bit. “Tanner,” I snap.

Her eyes widen and her lips part. I hear her let out a breath and she stares at me, waiting for me to speak again. “We are going to be fine,” I repeat.

“Okay,” she exhales.

Shifting my face close, I touch my lips to hers again, this time slipping my tongue inside of her to taste her. Initially, her body is stiff, she’s angry with me and trying to hold back, then she lets out a whimper. I swallow the sound as I continue to fuck her mouth with my tongue.

Only when she’s pressing her body against mine willingly, when she’s relaxed in my arms, completely and totally submissive to me, do I break the kiss. Resting my forehead against hers, I catch my breath. I want to fuck her, take her, have her right this second.

“We are going to be okay, buttercup. This is you and me, and that’s all that matters. What happens between us.”

“I agree,” she says. “All that matters is what happens within our little family.”

The wordfamily, it hits me in a way that I didn’t think possible. It makes me feel something, something massive. Almost overwhelmingly colossal. She gives me a small smile, it doesn’t reach her eyes. I wish that I had the time to bring that smile to her eyes, but I don’t.

Not right now.

I will though.

After she saw what she did last night, after I didn’t go after her. I let her just go. I can’t expect her to just be cool with that scene. This world, it’s like nothing she’s ever been part of, she has to be confused as fuck. I would be too if I were thrown into her world.

My hand falls from her waist and I take a step back. I hear Frogger shout out my name and turn my head to see the men loaded up and ready for me. Exhaling a long breath, I turn back to face Tanner. She is now looking down at her feet, gripping the envelope tightly in her hand.

“Seriously, buttercup. It’s all going to be okay.”

She nods her head slowly, her eyes finding mine. Then again, she gives me a very small smile. “See you when I get back, and we’ll be good. It’ll beallgood.”

Without another word, I turn my back to her, making my way toward my bike and climb on. Starting the engine, I look back over my shoulder at her. She watches me but doesn’t smile, doesn’t do anything but stare. With a nod of my head and a jerk of my chin, I rev my engine and take off.

I may have completely already fucked this up with her, but I’ve seen how my brothers fuck shit up, then fix it, so I’m going to do just that with Tanner. She’ll forgive me, though I didn’t really do anything. At least not this time.

There is no other choice.

She’s mine.

She’s carrying my baby and created just for me.

Only me.

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