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Chapter Twenty-Two:
Donkeys
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OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, I thought a lot about Sterling. Not in the way I had before; I thought about the man he was ... and the woman I was being.
Honestly, I was embarrassed. I had been childish and low, and though I still didn’t understand why Sterling brought that out of me, those feelings bubbled in my chest every time I saw his face. If I couldn’t get my shit together, I’d push Sterling right out the door and stress out Charlie more when another one of his sons grew distant. I couldn’t do that to him.
I sent Ollie a quick text to invite him over for dinner again soon, then called Kylie. The second she finished catching me up on her life and asked how I’d been, I word-vomited everything that had happened in the past couple of months, all the way down to Sterling chugging the drink I lied about spitting in and then took a deep breath. “Ky, the fuck do I do now?”
“Change your name and move to Mexico?” she joked. “No, seriously. It’s probably not as bad as you think, so just take a deep breath. It’ll all blow over in a few weeks and things will be normal. It couldn’t have been that good of a kiss.”
It was. It really was. “It was the best kiss of my life but yeah, probably wasn’t even top five for him. I’ll just keep out of his way and hope you’re right. Thanks for letting me vent.”
“Don’t think like that. If it was good for you, it was good for him. It sounds like he’s just scared, Zepp,” she said softly. “I’m not gonna say some cliché shit like if it was meant to be, it’ll be, because we both know that’s horse shit. Things don’t just happen because they’re supposed to, they happen because we fight for them. We work for them, over and over again, day in and day out. And we don’t give up.”
I smiled a little, because this was exactly why Kylie was the person I ran to when I felt lowest. “I miss you. Maybe one day soon you can come see my new town?”
“Hell yeah. You realize you just described the hottest man in America and then told me he has a playful, non-douchey brother?” She laughed. “What day can I come?”
“Oof. I don’t think Ollie is dating material. Definitely one-night stand material if you’re interested though.” I chuckled at my friend and heard Charlie call me from the monitor. “Hey, we’re actually going out with Charlie today, so I’ve got to go but we’ll text and set up a date. And if you’re serious, I can text Ollie.”
She sighed. “I’m questioning your taste in men at the moment since David still won’t leave me alone, but sneak me a picture of him and I’ll consider it. Have fun today, and don’t let Sterling get to you. I’d bet my ass he’s just as fucked over this as you are.”
“Not really a risk, you love anal,” I quipped. “But okay, picture. Got it. Talk later.” I hung up and grabbed my bag, then made my way to Sterling’s door to let him know it was time to go. On the way, I passed a photo of the brothers on the wall and snapped a photo for Kylie and then sent it.
Me: Darker hair is Sterling, lighter is Ollie.
Knock, knock.
“Let’s go, businessman. It’s time to go to the zoo.”
Charlie had talked about how much he used to love going so many times I knew this would brighten his day, even if Sterling wasn’t thrilled.
He opened the door looking predictably grumpy. “From the way you’ve been carrying on all morning, I thought I was already at the zoo.” His left eyebrow raised up just enough to lighten the expression on his face to something nearly playful, and I reminded myself not to let his stupid, gorgeous face get to me.
“You are, and you’re allowed out of your cage for a little while. Just be a good boy.” I walked off before he could say anything and went straight to Charlie’s room. For some reason, my heart was pounding when I imagined what his face was like at that parting comment. “Ready to go, Charlie? The monkeys are waiting.”
“Yes, I’m ready. I’m looking forward to a day of making my son push me around.” He smiled, shuffling out with the cane he’d soon be swapping for a wheelchair. “Where is he, by the way?”
“Right here,” Sterling mumbled. I snuck a glance at him and tried to suppress the smile threatening to crack my face in half at how tense he looked — I’d I hadn’t known better, I would’ve said he wanted to spank me.
And some part of me wanted to let him.
Suddenly, Charlie drifted away and it was just Sterling and me in his room, me face down on his bed, my ass in the air and him standing behind me with a red hand. I’d never been spanked before, and the thought of anyone before him spanking me was laughable, but with him? I wanted to try everything.
The drive to the zoo was as tense as Sterling’s shoulders, but thanks to the music filling the silence, Charlie was none the wiser. “Look, there’s a spot near the front there. We have my handicap thing in the glovebox, right, Son?”
“Yes.” He flipped open the compartment and attached the blue sign to the rear-view mirror, then got out to get the wheelchair ready for him. The first couple of minutes were awkward as we got Charlie situated and navigated the gravel parking lot, but things got much easier once we passed the admissions area and hit the pavement of the actual zoo.
The weather was perfect — sunny, not too hot, with a breeze that cooled us off but didn’t mess up my hair.
I knew Sterling was happy with the shoes I chose, and as much as I missed my Crocs, I was glad I went with tennis shoes by the time we reached the monkeys. There was literal shit on the walkway and I couldn’t help but laugh at how disgusted Sterling looked. “What’s wrong, Silver? Miss your computer chair already?”
“Of course not,” he muttered. “Just wondering why you didn’t go to the restroom before we left the house.”
“Charlie and I remembered our diapers. Where’s yours?” I teased, and Charlie chuckled right along with me. After a few moments we moved along to the next habitat and I laughed at the random donkey. “The hell? What is he saying?” I tapped Sterling with the back of my hand.
