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Chapter Thirty-Eight:
Stop Running
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IT FELT LIKE IT HADbeen a long time since I sat near the window with Charlie. It was a daily ritual before his fall, and I didn’t realize how much I missed it until we were sitting there again. “How did you sleep?”
I watched him take a long sip of his decaf coffee before he responded, and his hand was steadier than I’d expected. “If I’m being honest, I didn’t sleep very well at all. I never do when-when I have to do something I don’t want to do.”
A concerned frown washed over my face. “What is it? Are you okay?”
“I’m afraid I have to fire you, Zeppelin. And no, you didn’t do-do anything wrong at all. It’s the opposite, actually,” he explained as my heart sank. “This isn’t the part I feel badly about. I— damnit, I’m screwing this all up. Can I trust you to keep something between us, just for a few days?”
The hope in his eyes had me nodding without registering the movement. “Of course.” Tears welled in my eyes before he even began, because I already knew the ending.
He was letting me go.
He reached over to squeeze my hand. “Don’t cry, dear. This is good, I’m just mixing up the point. I’m moving to a nice little place that has people who can care for me. I would’ve gone after my Ellie died, but Sterling needed me.” He chuckled, patting my knuckles. “Oh, he’ll never admit that, but he did. He needed me, and now he doesn’t anymore. He has you. I don’t need to stay here and take up space anymore because he has you.”
“He loves you here, we both do.” I squeezed, needing him to know I truly meant it.
“I know that. This is about me. This house is too big for me now, and I love you both, but I-I want to be around people my own age. It’s time, Zeppelin. So I’m firing you, but I do it with love and with trust that you’ll keep taking good care of my boy.”
Those tears spilled over as I clung to his hand. I couldn’t understand why he was making me so emotional, but it was a combination of not wanting to see him go and the trust he was putting in me. I’d also grown so fond of helping him each day I knew saying goodbye to that would cause a void. I loved this job. All of it. “I promise I’ll take care of him. I love him, Charlie.”
“I wouldn’t leave if I didn’t believe that. My boys are stubborn and hardheaded, but they’re special. Neither of them yet realize how much love they have to give, but you’re bringing out sides of Sterling I never thought I’d see again. He laughs again because of you. Thank you.” He brought my knuckles to his lips with tears in his own eyes, then sat back to stare out the window with a long, low sigh. “I knew you’d be the one.”
I laughed lightly and sniffled away the sadness. “Is that why you hired me? You just knew I’d be the one to put up with Silver?”
“I hired you because my Ellie sent you. I’m sure of it. She’s never steered me wrong.”
A chill washed over me, and whether it was from his words alone or the fact that I could feel Ellie in that chair, I wasn’t sure, but something told me it was both. “She’s here with us, isn’t she?”
“Always. Sterling never believed me, but my Ellie never left me.” He patted his heart like that’s where he kept her. “And she won’t now, either. It doesn’t matter where I go.”
I imagined the love they shared for a few moments, allowing myself to wonder if Sterling could ever love me as much as Charlie loved Ellie. “Of course it doesn’t. She’s a part of you. She’ll always be right there with you. You said you want to keep this between us?”
“Yes. I don’t know how they’ll take it, and I’d like the chance to tell them myself,” he explained. “I’m s-sorry to put you in this position, Zeppelin. But I needed to know you and I were on the same page first.”
“We are. I’ll take care of him, Charlie. I promise.”
Keeping that promise, however, was harder than I thought it would be — especially when Sterling came home from work late and pulled me into his arms to cuddle with me instead of have sex. I could’ve distracted him with sex, but pillow talk? Not so much.
“How was your day?” he asked barely above a whisper.
“It was good,” I lied. “I always have good days with Charlie. How was yours? Are you okay, Sir?”
“Just a lot of office politics. We lost a pretty big account today and no one wanted to tell me.” He kissed my forehead and held me a little tighter. “We’ll bounce back.”
“Course. You’re Silver Bishop,” I teased, leaning in to kiss his chin. “I don’t mean to make your day worse, but I think you should tell Charlie about the other house. I think it could be good for him to go there.”
He stiffened, just like I thought he would. “Zeppelin, I can’t. I can’t step foot in that house, I can’t.”
I held him a little tighter. “Okay, I’m sorry.” I hated the way his voice sounded, hated how much my man still hurt. “I can take him for you.”
Sterling stayed silent for a while, just holding me and breathing. “I’ll go. I’ll take him. Ollie should come too, and I want you there. I don’t think I could do it without you. But you’re right, Zepp. I’ve kept this secret for too long from the one person I shouldn’t have kept it from.”
“Of course I’ll go with you. I’d go anywhere with you. Do you really think Ollie would go?”
