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Chapter Two:
Brain Bleach
Okay. Time to put the cardigan back on and be a brave little bean. I huffed, missing Zeppelin in that moment – my brother’s wife was insane in the best way, and probably the only person who hadn’t judged me when I’d named my private jet after Neville Longbottom for being loyal and brave and never letting me down. She’d made a joke about slaying Nagini in a cardigan and I’d taken that to heart ... at least figuratively. But the reminder of the three-million-dollar jet I’d lost in a bet had me even more nervous to get out of the car, so I called my brother instead.
“So, turns out I don’t want to,” I opened, knowing damned well he knew what I was talking about.
“Don’t, then. But no new jet for you,” Sterling argued. “You know you can’t afford to spend the money on another one until you start selling off the twelve houses you have and never use.”
I couldn’t argue there. “This house is in use, bro. Doesn’t that mean it’s a necessary expense?”
The silence on the other end answered me pretty clearly.
“Okay,” I amended. “But can’t I just have a lawyer do it or something? Isn’t it about time Caffrey Brannigan does something good for our family?”
“Oliver.”
“Don’t full-name me. Where’s your wife? Let me talk to her, I don’t like you anymore.”
Sterling chuckled darkly. “Right here. But good luck, now that I told her the entire story, she’s not going to help you out of this, either.”
Maybe I should’ve seen that coming; maybe I’d hoped Zeppelin would be better than that. Either way, I grumbled as I hung up the phone and stared at the house across the street from my parked car. It wasn’t hard to remember why I’d bought it in the first place – the modern architecture, grey-and-black exterior, long driveway and huge windows were right up my alley, but I was struggling to remember why I’d kept it. After all, I’d lived there with my girlfriend, Destiny, and my best guy friend, Angel ... but when I’d found out that Destiny’s Child wasn’t just a girl band but a form of deep, cutting betrayal, I moved out.
Anyone would’ve moved out if they found out their unborn baby was actually their best friend’s unborn baby ... right? Right, so I didn’t blame myself at all for leaving. Letting them stay there after, though ... that was on me. I hadn’t been able to bring myself to kick them out when she was about to give birth to a helpless, fragile infant, and I’d tried so goddamned hard to bleach them both from my brain afterward that I’d sort of forgotten about them for the most part. My trips down to Domingo to see Phyllis were really the only times I ever gave them half a thought, and even then, I never engaged. Never stopped by to see them or check on the kid, never spoke to either of them again.
What a shame it was that I allowed myself to let that jet go. None of this would’ve been happening if I’d just convinced Sterling to beat the shit out of those guys with me. Instead, he pulled the big-brother card and told me the only way I’d ever learn to stop gambling was if I lost something I couldn’t replace, and he’d been ... fucking wrong.
I didn’t immediately stop gambling and I could replace the jet, I just had to play realtor for a while and offload some of my more expensive assets. It was motivation enough to get one foot out of the car, but my “All The Single Ladies” ringtone had me sliding my ass right back into the safety of my car and answering.
“Hello, you’ve reached the office of Boss Bitch Longbottom. He’s not here right now, leave a message,” I said.
“Hello there, Mr. Longbottom. I’m returning your call about some real estate, my dick-for-brains husband tried to tell you I wouldn’t be on your side, but he’s wrong. Surprise, surprise.”
I heard the unmistakable slap of a spanking, then a giggle I wanted to erase completely from my memory, but this was exactly why I wanted to talk to Zeppelin. Her horrible British accent had me smiling for the first time all day.
“I’m outside. I’m pretty sure going in is a terrible idea, so I think I’m just gonna go back to my hotel.”
When she spoke again, her voice was back to normal, and Carl’s barking faded to the background as she went to another room. “Are you sure? They need to move Ollie, you shouldn’t be helping them live rent-free after the pain they caused. Do you want me to drive out and go with you?”
“That’s a long ass drive, Led. My brother will never let me live that down, so no. It’s okay; I guess I have to grow up some time,” I admitted as I carefully, quietly closed my door and turned my Tesla’s engine on. “I’m thirty-two, you’d think I’d be better at this shit by now. Especially since it’s not the first time.”
“You shouldn’t have to get better at dealing with deception, no matter how many times it happens. I’m just sorry you’re fucking alone out there to deal with it. Have you thought about what you’ll say?”
I put my car in drive as quietly as I could. “I’ve done nothing but think about it, and everything I can fucking think of, I somehow end up the bad guy. Make it make sense, Led.”
“You’re not. Angel’s the bad guy if we’re placing blame here, not you. You shouldn’t have to pay for them to live after what happened. Fuck them and the horse they ride on. I know that’s not the saying but I still mean it.”
“Thanks for the visual,” I deadpanned. “And I hear you, I do, but there are kids involved now who didn’t do anything wrong. It just sucks.”
She contemplated her response for a few seconds. “I get that, but they aren’t your responsibility, Ol. They’re theirs, and they should have honestly moved out years ago to take care of their kids. You know they can afford it; Angel makes enough. Didn’t you help him get started?”
My chest tightened in a way I hated as I sped up a little on my way back to the hotel. “Yeah. He was my best friend. I convinced your broody little boy-toy to let me show Angel how to run his shit around here. As far as I know, he’s still got an office out here.”
“I married that boy-toy and he’s still broody. What do you know? Anyway, they’ll be fine. Just tell them you can’t carry them anymore, you have enough shit on your shoulders.”
I grimaced a little as once again, my brain decided to take her too literally. What the fuck is wrong with me? “Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna quit wasting time and just go in, so thanks, Led. You always cheer me up.”
“Yeah, sure you are. Teslas are quiet, but they’re not silent, bro. Just ... take care of yourself, okay? Don’t gamble, and call me if you need to talk. Me, not Sterling. If you need a distraction I can tell you all about our weekend in detail. Spoiler alert, Carl ate Sterling’s shoes again.”
