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“Hello to you too, big bro.” I shoved my irritation aside and took a slow breath. “Yeah, I did it. She said they’ll be out by the end of the month.”
“Good. Should have moved out years ago without you having to ask, but fine, she’s doing one good thing in her life and I’ll give her credit for that.” His tone said otherwise, but I wasn’t calling to argue about Destiny. “Are you okay?”
There he is.“Yeah. It’s just weird, y’know? It’s not like I’m still in love with her or anything, but damn. I figure with an encounter as hard as that one, I’m due for some good luck though, huh?” I asked.
“Luck? You don’t mean what I think you mean.”
His voice was strained, making me regret calling at all. “Nah,” I lied quickly. “Of course not. Don’t be dumb.” Great, fucking lie to him and insult him.
“Dumb.” Sterling scoffed like he didn’t believe me at all. “Right, I’m dumb. Ollie, don’t. Just find someone and fuck the night away. If luck is really on your side, then you’ll find a pretty one before the booze kicks in.”
I didn’t know how to explain to him that I didn’t want mindless sex this time. I wanted the familiarity of a craps table, the buzzing high I got playing poker with people who didn’t realize how good I was at bluffing. “Yeah, you’re right. Enjoy your night, okay? Tell Led I said hi.”
“Wait,” he rushed out. “H-have you called around for Gambler’s Anonymous? I know you don’t want to but it could help times like this.”
Not one part of me wanted to lie to him again tonight, so I opted for the truth. “Not yet. I will though, I promise. Sucks not having a sponsor.”
“Well ... do you want me to find one for you? I want to help if I can.”
“Sometimes I think you help more than a sponsor would, but it might not be the worst idea,” I admitted quietly, digging my fingernails into my palms. “I’ve put this on you for way too long.”
“Just give me your word you’ll look into it. You’ve got this, Oliver. Don’t let Destiny get you down. That breakup was her loss, not yours.”
I agreed with him as genuinely as I could and said goodbye, but he was wrong. As I laid in my hotel bed that night with a woman I’d never met before and a belly full of booze, I couldn’t help but take stock of things.
Destiny had a family, a nice house that she’d lived in rent-free for years, and she had my best friend. Angel taught me Spanish when we were kids and let me hide out and play video games at his house on report card days. He was my wingman when I had my first kiss, and he was supposed to be the best man when I got married.
And I wasn’t even invited to his wedding.
I’d buried a lot of emotions when my mom died, and I’d spent years making sure they stayed put, but losing that stupid, worthless jet had thrown my life upside down. Suddenly, I had to face the fact that I was an addict. I had to face the people in that house that I’d ignored for years, and now ... I needed to face the fact that my brother — my eternal best friend, my protector, my comrade in fucking everything ... now had a family of his own to worry about.
Though I’d kick myself for the pity party later, for one night only, I let myself get lost in someone else’s body so I wouldn’t feel so fucking trapped in mine.
