AllFreeNovel
Share Us
This time she did hesitate, but I knew she would answer honestly. “Money. I can’t afford to go to school. All my money goes to my half of the house and bills and the boys eat so much. I can’t just stop everything to chase my dream. They come first, you know?”
“I do know that,” I agreed. “And that’s how it should be. But last question, at least for now. How do you feel about someone — me — putting you first?”
I couldn’t place the look in her eyes, but I could see the emotions swirling in those endless brown irises. “I don’t know what that means. Don’t you already put me first, Papí?”
“Yes,” I said carefully. “But I also know you’re fiercely independent, fully capable of handling your own shit, and tired of mine. Not one part of me wants to belittle you or everything you’ve done on your own by offering to help you with school or getting you out of this house so Anthony can’t find you unexpectedly, but I also need you to know that if at any point, you want those things or anything else, my priority will always be you. Always.”
She nodded, but I could see the unease in her shoulders. “I don’t know. I know you have money, baby. I’ve never asked how much because I don’t want you to ever think that’s why I’m here. No one’s ever helped me that way. Both of my parents passed away when I was twenty and it’s been just Dinora and me and the money in our pockets. I don’t want you to think my hand is out. Ever. I’m here because I love you, all of you.”
“Wouldn’t dream of assuming it, just as I’d hope you never think I’m treating you like charity. I’m a gambler, baby. I have a really hard time not betting on the things I have faith in.” I stepped back to start cooking dinner. “And an even harder time not spending money I have no other use for on the people I love. But what if we start small? For example, Jago asked me if I’d take him driving to help him get his hours in. Would you be willing to let me take that off your shoulders?”
Her smile was beautiful. “Did he? He never asks for anything, Ollie. That’s — that makes me happy. Yes, of course. I know asking you was a huge thing for him. God, I love you. I love that my family loves you, too.”
There she is.“Love you, too. Now go sit, let me feed you for once. Happy huevos coming up.”
~
The next day, I pulledup outside of their house and honked for Jago, then got over into the passenger side of my Tesla and abruptly changed my mind. I shut it off and got out just as Jago jogged down the stairs, then smiled at him. “We’re taking either your mom or Titi’s car,” I said quickly. “Get the keys.” Sorry, Jago. Love the fact that you want me to do this, but I love that Tesla, too.
“Titi calls that a space car anyway.” He pulled out his mother’s keys and wiggled them. “She took mom to work so we got her Honda. You sure about this?”
“Hell yeah. Should I get a helmet?” I asked playfully, but I trusted him. Or rather, I trusted what Mia and Dinora had instilled in him already, but still. “Show me what you got.”
He looked excited as he jumped into the front seat, then all business as he set the mirrors and turned on the car. “This will be my first time driving out of the neighborhood. Normally, they make me wait until we get to the bigger street, but I got this. I know what I’m doing now.”
“I believe you. You have to learn it sooner or later anyway,” I reasoned, more to myself than him. I’d never taught anyone how to drive before, so I was reasonably nervous as I buckled up and he backed out of the driveway.
At least he didn’t hit my Tesla.
He pulled out of the neighborhood a little slower than the speed limit, but he was ensuring he kept two hands on the wheel, never once tried to show off or act like he was a pro, and after ten minutes of me directing him around, I saw him relax. “Thanks for not telling anyone about ... you know ... me. I wasn’t sure you’d actually keep it from Titi.”
“It’s not my secret to tell, Jago. But you should know that when I came out to her, she didn’t bat an eye. I know she’d be the same with you,” I said. “Whenever you’re ready, anyway.”
“You told her about you?” He seemed surprised. “That’s a good thing right? You being able to be honest with something so personal?”
“People are honest all the time about being straight,” I said casually. “Shouldn’t have to be any different for us. If people judge you for it, accuse them of being band-wagon straight and watch their heads explode.”
Jago chuckled. “I think I’m getting there. I keep imagining how I’m going to tell everyone and get too nervous, then I think about just waiting until I get a boyfriend or something but ... I don’t need a boyfriend to know who I am. I’m gay.” He blushed a little, then released a breath. “That felt good to say, actually.”
I beamed, but quickly pointed out a stop sign up ahead. “We could always just check out guy’s asses in front of them,” I suggested. “Mia might beat me up, but she’ll understand.”
“Have you seen her angry?” Jago laughed. “She’s like a tiny demon spawn who forgets that English and Spanish are different languages and it mixes all together incoherently.”
“I’ve noticed. Worth it though, if it helps. Have you seen Dickbag Diego at all?”
“Yeah, once. He acted like he didn’t know me and I did the same. I’m not going to out him in front of his girlfriend, even if he is a dick. I don’t want that karma.” He stopped a little too suddenly at a red light, then apologized quickly.
“You’re good. We probably shouldn’t be talking about this stuff when you’re trying to drive, but it’s good practice. I’m proud of you for not outing him. You seem ... lighter,” I said gently.
“I feel it. It’s kinda weird. Ever since we talked, it felt like — like I was walking around with bricks on my back, and telling you was like ... taking off a few of them? I don’t know, that probably sounds dumb.”
I thought about my own life and how many bricks Mia had removed for me without even trying. “Not dumb at all, man. That’s good. And you know I’ve got your back when you decide to tell your family, right? I’ll just hang back ready to start a small, containable fire to distract them if it starts to go sideways.”
Jago laughed lightly, then shrugged his shoulder after thinking about it. “I don’t think it will. Honestly, I don't know why I’m nervous at all. I guess I just feel like I’m supposed to be helping Valentino talk to girls — which I have, I talk to girls just fine, I just have no attraction to them — I just don’t want my brothers to think they can’t talk to me about girls.”
“Just tell them that, then. And if they’ve got questions about chicks that you can’t answer, send them my way. I’ll build a fort with all the secrets I keep for you guys,” I teased. “Seriously, though. You’ll be more of a help to them once you’re living in your own truth. And who knows ... maybe you’re not the only one and they’re scared to tell you they’re not into girls.”
He frowned a little, almost like he was imagining one of his family members living with the same burdens as him. “You’re right. I’m going to tell them soon. Thanks, Ollie. You’re not half bad.”
“Hey,” I said lightly. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
