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Zeppelin started piling on plates, and I still struggled to take my eyes off Mia. She was rubbing her stomach absentmindedly and I couldn’t tell if it was because she was hungry or feeling sick again, but I was starting to get legitimately worried.
I barely paid attention to the dinner conversation as we ate. I was preoccupied fully with her, with why I’d moved her into my house and she’d been throwing up ever since. My mind went from missed mold from the flood to lingering paint fumes from the remodel and then catapulted and zig-zagged from one worse thing to another until Rio was tugging on my sleeve.
“Do you want dessert?”
I blinked, then wrapped my hand around his head to pull him into a hug. “Course, Little Hombre. What kind of a question is that?”
“A dumb one,” he giggled. “Mamá, Titi Zeppelin made pie. You love pie.”
“I do. I’d love some, thank you, mijo. Can I help you, Zeppelin?” She stood up to help gather the plates, and for some reason, the thought of her being out of my sight put me on edge. I didn’t need to feel protective of her here and yet I was, which was probably the only thing that could’ve distracted me from the fact that Rio referred to Zeppelin as his aunt.
I kept my eyes glued to the door she’d slipped through until Sterling was snapping his fingers in my face to get my attention. “Ollie? Where’d you go?”
“I need ten minutes alone with her. I promise it’s not for anything sexual, so do you think you can give Rio a tour or something?” I asked. “Please.”
My brother narrowed his eyes at me but nodded. “Of course.”
He stood up and took Rio’s hand, then went to find Zeppelin to distract her too. Mia came out a moment later looking just as strained as she had before dinner, so I slid my seat back and pulled one out for her, too. “Come here, babe.”
She sat with a soft smile, sighing slightly as I took both of her hands. “Did you pay them to give us some time?”
“Nope. Just asked nicely,” I said gently. “Let’s play a game where I tell you something that’s weighing on my chest and then you do the same, okay?”
Her laugh was musical, making me realize it had been at least two days since I heard it sound so weightless. “Slick. Okay, Papí. You first.”
“Me first.” I brought her hands to my lips and kissed them softly. “Do you remember when I made that joke about being glad I didn’t know you before Rio was born?”
Her eyes rolled before she deadpanned. “Yes, it was one of your worst ones.”
“You’re right, it was,” I agreed. “Most of my jokes are funny because they’re at least a little true. That one wasn’t funny because it wasn’t true at all. I’d give fucking anything for you to tell me he was mine. I love him like he is, and I know blood doesn’t matter, but still. I wouldn’t trade this for every jet on the planet.”
The tears that appeared were completely unexpected. “I love you. I love you so much and he loves you, and I promise you that both of us wish he was yours too, but that’s okay. Because we’re yours now, and so are they.” Mia placed my hands on her belly as those tears spilled over. “She’s yours.”
The whole world went quiet. My heartbeat slowed to a crawl as all the blood in my body rushed to my head, and my universe narrowed down to those two words: “She’s yours.”
“You mean it? It’s real this time?” I knew it wasn’t fair to put the others on her, all those false positives and lies from my past, but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it as hope and joy and fear and love and relief all collided inside my battered chest, and I didn’t need her to answer. I knew it was real this time. This time, my center of gravity shifted. This time, the protectiveness I’d felt made sense — it wasn’t just Mia. It was my little girl. My little girl.
I kissed her so suddenly that her teeth caught my lip and made it bleed, but I didn’t care. My face was soaked with tears I wasn’t aware I was even crying as I bolted off that chair and started screaming at the top of my lungs: “I’m pregnant! Sterling!”
I could hear Mia laugh behind me as I took off toward where the rest of my family was, but my outbreak had already brought them running into the dining room.
“The fluff did you just say?” Zeppelin asked, but one look at my face had my words clicking together in her head. “Oh, shit! No way!”
Rio peeked around them confused, then ran over to Mia with a worried expression. “Why are you guys crying?”
I grabbed Sterling’s shirt and shook him like he’d gone deaf and couldn’t hear me. “Pregnant, Sterling. I’m having a baby!” The words jarred something else loose in my mind and I whirled around as the panic set in. “I’m having a baby. You’re having a baby. Okay! Quick, someone get the car! We need blankets and water and a-a change of clothes and a car seat, holy shit! Just breathe, Mia!”
Sterling slapped me hard enough to make my neck crack a little. “Pull yourself together, Ollie. It’s not even close to hospital time.”
My chest rose and fell quickly as I struggled to get air, but that slap helped a lot. “Oh. Right. Uh—” I cleared my throat and straightened my spine, then smiled a little sheepishly — “I’m pleased to report that I’m pregnant. She’s ... pregnant. We’re pregnant. Sorry, baby, was I allowed to tell people?”
“Yes, Ollie. You’re allowed.” Mia wiped under her eyes and kneeled down in front of Rio. “I know you understand what’s happening, mijo, and you’re allowed to feel however you feel, okay? But you’re going to be a big brother.”
Rio ran over to me and jumped into my arms, burying his little head in my neck with a sob. “I love you, Ollie. Thank you for a baby.”
I hugged him until I stopped feeling so damn lightheaded and then set him down gently, kneeling with him. “You’re gonna be a great big brother, Little Hombre. Thank you for being fantastic.”
The next several minutes were a blur as I spam-called every person I’d ever met, starting with my father and ending with Caffrey Brannigan. I had other reasons for needing a lawyer but that wasn’t the time or place, so I stuck to the good news and then picked Mia up and kissed every inch of her beautiful face.
“You’re pregnant,” I whispered again, just needing to hear the words out loud. “Guess that explains why you were horny enough to do that thing you did.”
She had the nerve to blush. “I didn’t see you complaining, baby.” She smiled, but the nervousness she had before dinner returned. “I’m so happy you’re happy.”
“So why do you still look like you’re ready to run away?” I asked, kissing the corners of her mouth. “Is it because you’re afraid I’m gonna ask you to marry me again or if I can adopt Rio? Cause I’m gonna, on both counts. Just not tonight.”
“I don’t want to run away, I’m just so relieved you don’t either. I knew you would be happy to be a dad, but I was still nervous, and I’m absolutely open to having those conversations, Papí. You’re the man of my dreams, the love of my life.”
I didn’t need straight answers. The fact that she was open was good enough for me, and for tonight, I was content celebrating the news that I was going to be a father.
Everything else would come in time.
