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ADDISON
Willow’s first morning back to school was chaos. I’d never seen anything like the elaborate fanfare put on for her—breakfast, balloons, presents. Even Chase’s parents came over.For all I know, all families do stuff like that. Maybe that’s normal and waking up to an empty house and seeing yourself off to school on your own isn’t.
I drank my juice and ate my breakfast, mostly in silence, taking it all in. The joy in the air felt magical. Willow seemed to enjoy the extra attention, and everyone else enjoyed doling it out. But underneath the smiles and nonstop chatter was a sadness no one addressed. Twinkling eyes kept flashing dull, and they all tried a little too hard to fill the uncomfortable lulls in conversation.
I’m not sure what Chase had told his parents about my presence. They greeted me amicably and included me in conversation. They didn’t make a big deal about me being there, I’ll give them that, but I couldn’t help but notice how often their curious eyes landed on me.
When everyone was packing up to leave, Chase invited me to go to the school with him and Emily, but that was something they needed to do on their own, whether they knew that or not. It was a memory both Emily and Willow deserved to have without me.
Now, I look around the room and feel every inch of its emptiness. The silence seems to echo off the walls. It’s hard being an outsider in such a loving family. This morning, I could pretend I was a part of it all. I laughed alongside them, like I was in on their jokes, but on the inside, I knew I didn’t belong. I was just an extra body, being welcomed out of circumstance. I smiled when it was expected of me and was quiet when it felt appropriate, but I wondered if most of them would have been happier if I weren’t there.
Taking a deep breath, I rise from the kitchen table, stretching my limbs and dismissing my pity. I promised Emily I wouldn’t clean up, but I can’t very well leave it for her to deal with when she gets home. She did a good job hiding it for Willow, but I could see the exhaustion on her face this morning. The trip to school would be enough for her to tackle today.
Rushing around, I collect the clothes and accessories Willow’s grandparents brought her and take them up to her room. I set them down nicely on her bed, not wanting to invade her space by attempting to put them away.
When I make it back to the kitchen, I load the dishwasher and clean off the counters. It feels good to do something useful. Chase and Emily have been treating me like a guest, and I haven’t wanted to step on any toes, but I can’t continue to just lounge around all day. I make a mental note to talk to Emily about how I can be more helpful to her before I lose my mind.
I clean until the kitchen sparkles, then I sit down at the table with a glass of water. The cleaning has made me sore, but rubbing the stretching muscles of my stomach isn’t easing the ache, so I lie down on the couch with my Kindle to rest for a few minutes. Engrossed in my book, the minutes tick by, my muscles relaxing and my eyelids growing heavier. I give it my best effort, but sleep finally takes me under.
I awake to Chase’s gentle touch on my arm and peer up at his smiling face. “Hey, sleepyhead,” he says.
“Oh, wow. Did I fall asleep?” I grab my Kindle off my chest and sit up, then turn so he can sit beside me on the couch. I reach up to touch my ponytail, which sits wonky after my nap. “God, I’m a mess.”
“Still hot, though.” He grins, his gaze molten as he tugs on my hair lightly.
I clear my throat, trying to ignore the images that fly through my mind with his tug. I pull the elastic out of my hair and fluff it up. “Where’s Emily?”
He gives me a sad smile and sighs. “She went upstairs to rest for a bit. She didn’t sleep very well last night.”
“Lots going on. And it was an eventful morning.”
“Yeah, it was,” he says, nodding. Then he turns to me. “I hope it wasn’t too much for you. How are you feeling?”
“No, it was fun to be a part of. I’m feeling pretty good. Just sore and tired all the time.”
“I’m surrounded my sleepy women.” He chuckles and grabs my hand, entwining our fingers. “Thanks for cleaning up our mess. You didn’t have to do that.”
“I can’t very well live here without pitching in. I’m going to go stir-crazy if I just keep sitting around.”
“Maybe we should start getting you out more. It’s probably time you get to know more people around here, and we can go into the city and do some exploring. Maybe some shopping.”
“I do need some new clothes. I’m not going to fit in my regular clothes much longer, especially if you keep supplying me with those Pop-Tarts.”
“If the baby wants Pop-Tarts, the baby gets Pop-Tarts.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re an enabler.”
“No, I’m a dad. It’s my responsibility to make sure my girls are fed.”
“Your girls for now. Soon, you might be adding a boy into the mix.”
“A boy. Wow. That would be a nice addition around here.”
“Or you could just end up with another girl to add to the group.”
He leans forward to kiss my forehead. “Either one will be amazing.”
“Do you want to find out?” I ask him.
