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“Why are you so determined not to love me? What is so wrong with giving your heart to someone?” he asks in a gentle voice as if he’s afraid I’ll spook and run away, which is not an unfounded worry. Everything inside of me is telling me to retreat.
Leave! Save yourself!
I force myself to stay on that sofa beside him and look him in the eye when I say, “Because you’ll break my heart…or I’ll break yours, and I don’t want to do that.” I can feel the tears pricking my eyes, threatening to expose the depth of my emotions.
“Well, we don’t have to break each other’s hearts if we don’t want to. We could stay together forever,” he suggests with a laugh.
“Right, like that’s going to happen.”
“Why do you doubt me? Why do you doubt the possibility of what we could have together?”
“All relationships end in heartbreak. Someone either decides to leave or someone dies. Either way…heartbreak. I’ve had enough of that in my life. I don’t want any more.”
“So, you’re going to choose to live in fear then?” he asks as he runs his hands through his hair in frustration, leaving it standing up all over the place. It looks cute, which makes me even angrier with him.
“I’m not living in fear. I’m protecting myself,” I say and stand up from the couch, not wanting to be anywhere near him.
“Sure, okay. Life is hard, and no matter how much you protect yourself, you’re still going to go through hard things. It’d sure be easier to do that with someone who loves you by your side. All you’re doing is lying to yourself.”
Lo and Eilleen come into the room, beaming from ear to ear. They sense the hostility in the room, and their smiles fall instantly.
“Should we come back in a few minutes?” Eilleen asks.
“No, everything’s fine,” I say and rush over to Lo. “You look so beautiful. Daddy would love this dress on you.”
“I feel like a princess. Now I just need an old, enchanted castle to run through,” Lo jokes, trying to ease the tension. I glance at Jameson and see the side of his mouth hitch up.
“You look gorgeous. You’ll be a heartbreaker, just like your sister,” Jameson says, and then he leaves the room. Eilleen and Lo watch him walk out and then turn their attention to me, waiting for me to explain what’s going on.
Heartbreaker? Me? Far from it! I’ve never been in a relationship long enough for a man to think it’ll lead to something serious. To be honest, I haven’t even dated in years. The only man to ever tell me he loves me is my daddy.
I don’t like that he’s implying that I’m breaking hearts right and left. Or does he mean that I’m breaking his heart? No, he couldn’t mean that. I’ve been up front with him this entire time.
