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Hannah
Chris has brought me to an Italian restaurant. A smart move on his part, because I have a passionate love affair with carbs. If a loaf of bread proposed marriage to me, I’d without a doubt say yes. Bread can feed you. Bread can give you eternal happiness. Bread never lets you down…unlike certain men.
The conversation has been entertaining enough so far. Chris is a great guy. He’s a gentleman, he has his life together, and he’s not the type to date woman after woman. Basically, he’s what every woman in Texas is looking for but can’t find because he’s hiding out in tiny little Waverly. If he lived in a big city, he’d have a swarm of women vying for his attention.
If I were a smart woman, I’d lock him down here and now before some other woman comes along and catches his eye. But I’m not a smart woman at all, because all I’ve been doing this entire evening is comparing him to the man I will never have, just like I’ve done on every other date I’ve been on in the last decade. Oh, I love Chris’s dark hair and blue eyes, but they’re not as great as Seth’s messy, curly locks. Chris has a chiseled jawline, but he doesn’t have Seth’s light dusting of freckles that you can only see when you’re standing close to him. Chris is tall, but his lips don’t line up perfectly with my forehead the way Seth’s do. I’ve dreamt about what those forehead kisses would be like more times than I can count, and let me tell you, it’s always magical.
Sadly, I’m more into these spaghetti noodles than I am the man sitting across the table from me. It’s disappointing and frustrating and just really infuriating. I want to like him. I’m desperate to like anyone other than Seth Freaking Miller. Do I need to just do that whole fake-it-til-you-make-it thing? Is that what it’s going to take to forget about that man? I’m guessing that’s not what solid marriages are built on.
The waitress brings the check, and I go for my wallet so that I can pay half. It’s the least I can do since I know this probably isn’t going anywhere, but Chris stops me and insists on paying for everything. Like I said, he’s a gentleman.
He drives me home in his logical, gas-efficient car. See! He’s responsible and earth conscious. I should like that about him, but gosh darn it, Seth looks dreamy in that Jeep of his, especially when he takes the doors off. In the driveway, Chris turns to me, takes my hand in his, and says, “I had a nice time, and I really like you, Hannah. I can tell that your mind was somewhere else, though.”
I open my mouth to protest because I know I should give us another chance before giving up completely. Next time, I’ll make sure Seth is out of my head. It didn’t help that he was at Colby's house when Chris picked me up. I’ll tell Colby to change his locks and hide his spare key somewhere different so Seth can’t barge in whenever he wants anymore. That’ll solve that problem.
He stops me before I can say anything. “It’s Seth, isn’t it?” he asks, and I feel my cheeks heat up. I’ve never realized how transparent I am. I’ve been trying to hide my feelings for Seth for years. It has been my most closely guarded secret, but it would seem it hasn’t been a secret at all.
“How did you know?” I whisper, looking down at my hands in my lap.
“I’ve seen the way you two watch each other. I don’t know why he hasn’t gone after you. I reckon he’s either an idiot or your brother warned him off,” he says with a laugh.
“Right,” I say. “I don’t think he’s actually interested in me.”
“Oh, he’s interested. Believe me. But anyway, if you get tired of waiting for him to buck up the courage to make his move, you have my number.”
I walk into the house, lean against the door, and groan in frustration. Frustration with myself, not with Chris. Not even with Seth. It’s not his fault that I’m madly in love with him. I can’t believe that, after all this time, I am ruining my chance with yet another great man because in the back of my mind I’m still holding out hope that maybe someday Seth will fall for me. It’s never going to happen with me and Seth. I know that. I knock my head against the door, silently chastising myself.
“You okay over there?” Colby sits up from the couch and asks.
“Date didn’t go so well?” Seth asks with a laugh.
I jump up from the door and scream. I thought I was alone.
“What are y’all doing? It was so quiet,” I say with a hand over my chest, trying to steady my pounding heart.
“Well, I was reading. Seth over here was snoring until you slammed the door and woke him up.”
Seth jumps up from the couch and runs a hand through his hair. His shirt is rumpled, and he has lines on his face from the throw pillow. He looks adorable, which is irksome at the moment. Why can’t he look ugly for even a moment? It would make it a lot easier to hate him. He is the reason I can’t move on and let myself enjoy the company of another man.
And he has been here hovering at my brother’s house all night. If he hadn’t been here, I wouldn’t have been so frazzled on my date. I would have been able to focus more on Chris. Seth’s face wouldn’t have been taking up real estate in my mind.
Why is he here, anyway? Is it because he knew about my date? I know he overheard me and Chris making plans yesterday. He has always viewed me as a little sister, but this is taking it too far. I don’t need him vetting my dates for me. I’m a grown woman, and I can spot a sleazeball on my own, thank you very much. Chris is about as far from a sleazeball as you can get.
“Why are you even here?” I yell and hold my arm out, gesturing at Seth. His eyes widen in shock, and he glances at Colby. Colby holds up his hands and sits back down.
“I just wanted to make sure your date went okay,” he says as he walks around the couch to get closer to me.
“Well, it was better than okay. It was wonderful, if you must know!” What am I saying? We ended the night talking about another man. Talking about him! It wasn’t the worst date I’ve ever been on, but I definitely wouldn’t classify it under the ‘wonderful’ category.
“Oh really?” he says, sounding disappointed. Why does he sound disappointed? “So, you’ll be going out again, I guess.”
Stop it, Hannah. Don’t say it, don’t say it… “Yep!” I say. I can’t help it. Seth makes me crazy. It’s like all rational thoughts run screaming for the hills when he’s around me.
“Oh…cool.”
“Yeah, it is. It’s really cool.” Oh my gosh, I’m acting like a ten-year-old. I’m twenty-three. I don’t recognize this immature version of myself. “I’m going to bed,” I announce.
“Goodnight,” Colby says. He’s already gone back to reading his book. I had assumed he was tuning us out, but I guess not.
