AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Seth
My mood has not improved at all since last week when I found out Hannah is moving to Austin. I’m still just as grumpy as the day she told me. If anything, I’m getting grumpier with each day that passes. I haven’t seen her or spoken to her. No one has uttered her name around me, so I don’t know how she’s doing. And that’s killing me more than anything.
It’s Thursday, and I’m playing baseball at the park with pretty much every young, able-bodied man in town. It’s a weekly tradition we’ve had for a long time. I’m always the pitcher for whatever team I’m on that week. I pitched for our high school team and could have gotten a full-ride scholarship to college if I had wanted it. I’m not trying to brag, but I have a good arm. And today, I am using it to take out all of my frustration with the Hannah situation. It’s better than turning into a rage machine and punching things. It’s definitely better than talking about it.
The guys on the other team do not agree. They’re all yelling at me to take it easy. I don’t normally pitch like this. These games are just for fun, and bonding, and exercise. But I need to blow off some steam, so the guys can just deal with it.
The library being right next to this park is not helping my mood, and I happen to know she’s in there right now, attending the women’s book club. They read all sorts of romance novels and then sit around talking about them every other week. The last one was some historical romance. I saw it sitting on the coffee table at Colby’s house, and she got all flustered when I laughed at the cover. The man’s face was intense, no one’s eyes are that blue, and who in their right mind walks around their grand estate with their pectorals on full display like that? Gosh, the way she blushed was adorable. But that was before the kissing incident. Before I found out she’s moving away. Before she stopped talking to me.
Great, now I’m thinking about her again when I’m supposed to be pretending she doesn’t exist. I throw the ball and strike out yet another guy. No one from their team has made it onto a base yet.
“Okay, Seth, you’re done,” Jameson calls over to me.
“What? You’re policing the game now, too?” I ask, making a joke about his chosen profession. He’s a state trooper. We have to rag on each other every once in a while.
“We all agreed. Sorry, man, but it’s not fun when the other team never gets on base—or gets a hit, for that matter.”
“I see how it is.”
“Hey, I know you’re frustrated, but don’t take it out on us,” he says. He’s right. I know he’s right. I’m being a jerk. I need to suck it up and go see her. If I see with my own eyes that she’s okay, it will calm me down…maybe.
I pack up my stuff and tell the guys goodnight. I see a bunch of them make relieved faces at each other as I walk off. I head to the library because I’m a glutton for misery. I walk in, and I’m greeted by one of the after-school workers. I hear the chatter of the women coming from the back. There’s boisterous laughter and talking over one another—a sure sign they’re having a great time. I walk around the library, pretending to look at books, as I slowly make my way to the back so I can peek inside the conference room.
I stop in between two shelves where I can just sort of see into the room. Hannah is standing by a table covered in snacks. She’s munching on a cookie while Jameson’s nana, Eilleen, is talking to her. Hannah smiles at her, but I can tell it’s forced. It doesn’t reach her eyes. When Hannah’s smiles are real, her eyes sparkle, and her cheeks turn rosy. It’ll make you weak just seeing it. Eilleen is hilarious and can make even the biggest grump happy. I wonder what has Hannah so down if even Eilleen isn’t cheering her up. She’s starting a new job and moving to the city just like she wanted. Shouldn’t she be excited? It’s what she chose.
I don’t know where she came from, but suddenly, Millie is standing right in front of me with her hands on her hips, and she looks like she’s about to spit bullets. I clear my throat and stand up a little taller, trying to make myself feel braver.
“What are you doing spying on our book club, sir?” she asks. She stands on her tiptoes to appear larger, but she’s so short I’ve still got almost an entire foot on her.
“I just wanted to—”
“See Hannah?” she interjects. Millie is very astute. It’s unnerving. I run my fingers through my hair and groan. She has found me out so easily. “Look, I don’t know exactly what happened between y’all—she won’t give anyone the nitty-gritty details, which is driving me bonkers—but I know she hasn’t been herself lately. She seems a little better tonight, so please don’t upset her. She moves in four days, and I just want to hang out with my friend and see her smile.”
“Four days? Did you say four days? As in f-o-u-r?” I ask, holding up four fingers to make extra sure I heard her correctly. I can’t feel my feet. My whole body feels like it’s going to give out on me. How could it be happening so soon? I assumed I had more time to convince her that this whole moving thing is a horrible idea. No one told me. No one said a word.
“You didn’t know? Colby didn’t tell you?” Her face is a mixture of confusion and shock. Understandable. Colby is my best friend, and he’d be clueless to not know that I was lying about my feelings for Hannah all those times we talked. He has to know I’m crazy about her. And he chose not to tell me.
What difference does it make, though, if she leaves in four days or four weeks? She doesn’t want me the way I so desperately want her. She wouldn’t even let me get a word in the last time we were together. I was trying to ask her out on a date, and she cut me off every time I opened my mouth. She’s leaving, and that’s all there is to it. I’ll have to get over her and let her live her life.
But how do you move on when you’ve finally found who you’ve been looking for all this time, but you’re not what they want?
I’m going to do it. I’m going to walk into that house and demand to talk to Hannah. I don’t care who gets in my way. Well, if her mom or dad stand in my way, I will ask very politely for them to step aside, but I’m almost positive they’ve already gotten back on the road in their RV. But if Colby tries to stop me from talking to her, he’s getting a punch to the face. I’m tired of his crap. Will he beat me to a pulp after that punch? Yes, but that’s beside the point. I’m finally going to stand up for myself, even if I have waited way too long.
Good grief, I’m scared, though. My heart is palpitating. It’s going to gallop right out of my chest. I’m sitting in front of their house, trying to get up the courage to walk to the door. I wasn’t scared before I left my house. I was full of energy and determination, but reality seems to have set in on the five-minute drive over. What if she turns me down flat? It’s very likely that she will.
I’m staring straight ahead, trying to control my breathing, when I see movement out of the corner of my eye. It’s Colby. It looks like he’s leaving to go to the gym. Great, I get to have my confrontation with him before I talk to Hannah. I was hoping to avoid talking to him today.
“What’s going on?” he asks when he gets to my Jeep.
“I’m here to talk to Hannah,” I answer in the most confident voice I can muster. I brace myself for the fight I know is coming. He’s going to tell me to leave, that he never wants to see my face again. Twenty-five years of friendship down the drain because I fell for his little sister. But the fight doesn’t come.
He sighs and asks, “Are you finally admitting that you care for her?” My head rears back in shock. I must have heard him wrong, because he doesn’t sound angry. “What took you so long?”
“Umm, you didn’t want me to date her,” I say. I’m on the verge of yelling, so I take deep breaths to keep my temper in check.
“I never said that,” he argues. He looks just as surprised as I feel. I remember sitting in that booth in the diner almost two months ago and him doing his best to warn me off from Hannah.
“You did. You said—”
