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Seth

It’s official. I’m a scaredy-cat. Our weekly guys’ night is at Colby’s house tonight, and I can’t bring myself to even get out of my Jeep. I’ve been sitting here for five minutes, staring at his garage door, trying to hype myself up to go inside. I can’t look Colby in the eyes right now because, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I can’t get Hannah off my mind. I felt like my world was going to stop on Saturday when I realized our call was at her house. When we pulled onto her street and I saw her house engulfed in flames… I’ve never felt fear like that before.

Normally, when I’m responding to a call, I am laser-focused on what I have to do. I have a list of things going through my head. But when it was Hannah’s house, all I could do was panic and hope she was okay. And I haven’t stopped thinking about her and that blank look on her face as she watched her house burn ever since.

I’m not exactly sure what all of these emotions mean, but I do know that I should not be anywhere near her or her brother while I’m trying to figure it out. You know what, I’m just going to go home and tell Colby and Jameson I barfed up my lunch and can’t make it. I heard there’s a nasty stomach virus going around the elementary school, so it should be believable enough. Never mind the fact that I can’t tell you the last time I’ve been within fifteen feet of a child. I tend to avoid them at all costs.

I put my Jeep in reverse, but then Jameson pulls up behind me in his massive truck, blocking me in and foiling my plan of escape. What a tool.

I step out of my Jeep just as Jameson is walking over to me, and I don’t miss his questioning look. “Why were you about to leave?” he asks. Leave it to the state trooper to be overly observant and notice my reverse lights.

“Oh, umm… I was just going to straighten up my parking job,” I lie. Not a very good lie, considering I’m parked just fine. Jameson looks at my Jeep and then at me. Thankfully, he doesn’t say anything about it.

Colby and Hannah are in the kitchen, arguing, as we walk in. Jameson and I are quiet so we can hear what’s going on. None of us respect each other’s privacy, and we certainly don’t pass up on watching a good fight. It looks like Hannah has just gotten home from work. She’s still wearing a skirt with a colorful flower pattern all over it, but her hair is starting to look wild, like she’s had a long day.

“I didn’t buy enough for you!” Colby says as Hannah shoves a boneless hot wing in her mouth. “And it’s guys’ night. You’re not a guy, so you gotta go. We do this every week, but next week, we won’t be here.”

“I’ll stay in my room! Scout’s honor. I’m exhausted, and my feet hurt after walking around in these heels all day,” she says and then bends down to take the heels off her feet. Her toenails are painted bright pink. It reminds me of when she was a teenager and she’d sit in her parents’ living room, painting her nails every color of the rainbow. I always thought it looked ridiculous, but I appreciated that she had her style and stuck to it.

“Hey,” I say, letting them know of Jameson’s and my presence. They both jump and turn to face us. Hannah’s cheeks turn an adorable shade of pink when her eyes land on mine. She steals another wing while Colby’s attention is off her, and I fake a cough to cover my laugh. “It’s really not a big deal if she’s here. We’re just playing cards,” I say, and Hannah mouths a quiet thank you to me.

Colby gives me the side-eye and groans his displeasure, but he agrees to let Hannah stay. He drags out a promise from her that she will not interfere with the sacredness of our guys’ night for any reason whatsoever, and if I’m being honest, I don’t like that one bit. Now that I’m looking at her, instead of panicking in my Jeep, I think it could be kind of fun if she joined us. I mean, not every week, but just this once might be nice. She’s had a rough week, so maybe she needs a distraction.

I’ve never hung out with Hannah much, since she’s so much younger, but she’s not a teenage girl anymore. I don’t feel like a creep while silently agreeing with the younger guys at the station when they mention how attractive she is. Because heaven knows, I agree! I love the messy waves in her blonde hair, her bright-blue eyes, and her long legs that seem to go on for miles.

Hannah steals one more wing before running back to the room she’s staying in temporarily, but her theft didn’t go unnoticed this time. Colby shouts out a reprimand after her as I walk to the counter and see piles and piles of food. There’s enough here to feed at least ten grown men. Hannah wouldn’t be able to make a noticeable dent in this much food if she tried.

“Did you invite some extra guys tonight or something?” I ask.

“No, I just like to be prepared,” Colby says. “And you know it’s my cheat night. I eat like it’s my last meal on earth.”

“Colbs, you pulled a Nana,” Jameson says with a laugh. Jameson’s nana has zero chill. She’s known throughout Waverly for going overboard with everything she does. Take her vegetable garden, for example. It’s ginormous and produces way more food than her family can eat, so she’s constantly giving food away to people. Have a cold? Here are twenty-five zucchinis. New in town? Take some sweet potatoes. Death in the family? You guessed it, take an entire tomato plant.

“Whatever, let’s eat. I’m starving,” Colby says. The three of us load our plates up until they’re overflowing, and we stuff our faces with different flavored hot wings. Jameson and Colby carry on a conversation about plans for Jameson’s wedding in two weeks. I don’t hear most of it because my mind is on Hannah on the other side of that wall right there. What is she doing? How is she feeling? Yesterday at the library, she said she was fine, but is she really? She could have been lying to me. All of this is just musings from a professional standpoint, of course. The EMT side of me really wants to know what’s going on with her. That’s it. Nothing else.

“Did you hear us, Seth? Are you ready to play poker?” Colby asks, drawing me out of my thoughts. Right. I’m not here to daydream about my best friend's little sister all night. It’s guy time. I take my plate to the sink and wash my hands while giving myself a quick pep-talk. This is all just some weird reaction to thinking she almost died. She’s fine, though, so everything can go back to normal now. We can go back to barely noticing each other’s existence. I’ll say hello and ask how she’s doing when I see her out and about, she’ll answer me in that quiet but self-assured voice of hers, and that’ll be the end of it, just like it always is. But that makes me a little sad. I think I’d kinda like to get to know her better.

“Seth, get in here! What’s going on with you tonight?” Jameson shouts from the card table in the living room.

I go back to the living room, and we start our poker game. It doesn’t take long to realize that I am not at the top of my game tonight. I have no idea what’s going on because I’m too focused on the woman in the next room. When did I start thinking of her as a woman instead of a girl? I’ve always viewed her as that little girl with blonde pigtails and a face full of freckles who would cheer me on from the stands during my baseball games. It was funny to me that she was more enthusiastic than my own parents, even though it was clear she had no idea what was going on most of the time. She always cheered when I got out.

What happened between Saturday and today to change my view of her?

Colby throws a fry at my head and tells me it’s my turn to play, but at that exact moment, Hannah comes out of her room, dramatically tiptoeing through the living room like a silly cartoon character. Colby’s back is to her, so he’s clueless. Or he is until he sees me smiling like a doofus and turns around.

“Hannanah, you promised!” Colby says, and she stops her ridiculous sneaking attempt.

“Colby, I am a human being. And humans need food and water to survive. One would think that you’d know that, seeing as how you teach biology to pubescent children for a living!” They stare each other down for a minute, and the silence makes me uncomfortable. Colby relents first with a nod and a moody growl. She dashes to the kitchen, and I can hear her humming happily as she fixes herself a plate. Colby scowls in her direction and opens his mouth to bark out a reprimand at her before I cut him off.

“You know, I’m really not feeling the card game. I think I’m just going to head out,” I say as I stand up and stretch my back. Jameson and Colby both protest me leaving, and Hannah stands in the kitchen, watching me, while she shoves chicken wings in her mouth. She licks sauce from the tips of her fingers, and nothing has ever been so mesmerizing. And that’s exactly why I have to get out of this house. Now. Right this second. I grab my phone off the table and shove it in my pocket. I take one more glance at Hannah before turning to go to the front door.

“We can watch a movie,” she suggests. I don’t miss the hopeful cadence in her voice. She wants me to stay? It seemed like she couldn’t get rid of me fast enough at the library yesterday. If I’m being honest with myself, I don’t really want to leave. I’d love nothing more than to sit and watch a movie with her, and that’s exactly why I should leave. My head is all confused and conflicted. One second, I want to be near her, and the next, I want to run away. I need to put some space between us so I can figure out what’s going on.

“You can watch a movie in your room. You know, the room you promised you’d stay in for the night,” Colby says. Jameson crosses his arms across his chest and looks down at his long legs stretched out in front of him. This is the most uncomfortable guys’ night we’ve ever had. Usually, it’s the best night of the week. We eat like pigs, belch, punch each other…things I would never do in front of a lady. Hannah is kind of killing the guys’-night vibe, but I was never feeling it to begin with.

“It’s fine with me if she watches a movie with us. Guys’ time is shot anyway,” Jameson says in a weary tone. I voice my agreement, and Colby glares at the two of us.

“I’m choosing the movie,” Colby demands as he stands from the card table and stomps over to his couch.

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