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“Can you pee?” she asks. Not trusting my voice, I nod. She walks around the kitchen island and gives me a big hug, then pulls away to grab my face. “It’s going to be okay. No matter what, it’s going to be okay.”

“Thanks, Olivia.” On shaky legs, I head toward the bathroom, rip open a box, and see three individually wrapped tests and instructions. I read over them slowly, multiple times, until I’m one hundred percent sure I’m not going to screw things up.

While opening the first package, I get the faintest taste of blood on my tongue. I realize I’ve been biting the inside of my mouth since we left for the pharmacy, worrying a cut in my cheek with my teeth.

Following the directions perfectly, I take the first test, then click on my phone timer and walk out of the bathroom. I join Olivia on the couch, silently throwing her my phone as I take a deep breath.

We’re quiet as we wait. I thought time moved slowest when doing planks, but I think waiting for a pregnancy test might just have a one-up. I count off the seconds as we wait, making it to 134 when the timer interrupts.

She hops up first and runs toward the bathroom, while I just stand awkwardly waiting for her. I’m so nervous that I almost start counting the seconds again.

When she walks back in the room, she sends me a big smile and asks, “So, what color are you thinking for the nursery?”

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