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Her hair’s much shorter, a stylish bob which frames her face, making her look more delicate than I remember. She’s dressed in a suit. The light, blue blouse she’s wearing makes her skin look silky soft. She’s wearing glasses, and damn, they complete the sexy-as-fuck look she has going.
The vision before me is definitely not how I remembered her.
Now that she’s standing in front of me, I curse myself for walking away from her. At the time I thought I was doing the right thing. She needed to hate someone, and I took the fall.
Instead, you hurt her while she was at her lowest, dumbass.
Hurt is an understatement. I fucking took her virginity and minutes later turned my back on her.
“I hate you for making love to me.”
I’ll never forget those words. I told her feelings hurt then I made her feel right before I turned my back on her.
I’ve replayed that night a million times over the past years. I thought I had dealt with the guilt, but the moment which still haunts me is the way she looked at me while I made love to her.
Sometimes I think it’s nothing more than wishful thinking.
Other times I’d find myself praying that the emotion I saw in her beautiful eyes was real, that she could love someone as fucked-up as me.
She’s the only woman I’ve made love to, that I’ve kissed, and to this day I don’t regret it.
I regret letting her push me away. I regret not fighting for her – for us.
It’s clear the way I felt about her has not dimmed one bit.
“Where’s Carter?” she asks to no one in particular.
While I struggle to find my voice, Carter comes into the waiting room.
“Hey,” Carter says as he takes hold of her arm. “I spoke to Dr. Barnard. Thanks for giving me Dr. Bokeria’s number. They’re going to have a live conference now. I’ll let you know how it goes.”
When he walks out, she quickly follows. I get up and rush after them, definitely wanting to sit in on the conference.
Also, I’m not ready to let her out of my sight just yet.
“Carter,” Leigh calls to him. He waits for her to catch up to him. “If Dr. Barnard allows it I’d like to sit in on the conference.”
“I’m sure he will agree,” Carter says, and taking her elbow, he walks her to Dr. Barnard’s office.
My eyes focus on where Carter is touching her.
I know Carter loves Della. I know I have no right to Leigh. But fuck, I hate that he’s touching her.
My eyes glide over her body, and I still can’t believe she’s here. I wasn’t aware that Carter had kept in contact with her. With Marcus and Willow dating, the possibility that I’d see her again has always been there.
Now that she’s here I feel like I’ve been transported back to the past.
When we walk into Dr. Barnard’s office, Carter introduces her.
The two doctors immediately start to discuss Marcus, using words I’ll never understand.
Seeing Leigh work yanks me from my thoughts and throws me into a reality where she’s a stranger. I don’t really know her.
I have no idea what makes her smile. I don’t know what she’s done with her life since I last saw her.
She’s a stranger.
The nineteen-year-old girl hates me.
