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“Might be worth a shot, talk to her and see,” I told him, bumping his shoulder. “I need to tell you something.”
“That Trent is your Pack mate and not just some lone wolf?” Caleb asked, his head swinging toward me.
“How?’ I stared at him in shock and he shrugged.
“A lone wolf isn’t that loyal. Besides, you trusted him with Jess. You wouldn’t have done that without knowing without a doubt that you could trust him completely.” He gave me a sideways glance. “I’m not mad.” He paused and corrected himself, “Not anymore.”
“That’s not all though,” I forced myself to continue, figuring I needed to come clean and he gave me a tired smile.
“Liam made three,” he concluded, not seeming surprised and I gave a jerky nod. “I’d call that a pack,” Caleb replied, his voice devoid of any anger or bitterness. “You’ll be a good Alpha.” Caleb nodded to himself.
“Dylan too,” I added, rubbing my neck and he gave me a surprised glance. I shrugged, still not entirely certain how it happened. “I was able to force him into shifting back to human form.”
He nodded slowly as he said, “That’s good.” He sounded certain and I glanced at him. “You’ll be a better Alpha to him than anyone I know.”
“I wish I had your certainty. I’m not exactly prepared to be Alpha,” I told him. “It was never something I wanted.”
“Maybe that’s a good thing,” Caleb murmured, his gaze lost. “Better than insisting your way is the right way and never listening.” It wasn’t a stretch to know he was talking about his Dad. “Payne would have been the better choice, but he can’t shift. Hell, anyone would have been a better choice.”
“I don’t believe that,” I answered swiftly. “You aren’t your father, Caleb.”
“No, but I also feel like I’m living someone else’s life,” he confessed. “One I don’t want, but I don’t know how to change it.” He glanced up at me. “Don’t get me wrong. I’ll fight for my Pack, die for them, do anything I can to keep them safe, but it feels hollow, you know?”
I shook my head mutely. I didn’t know. So far nothing about being an Alpha had caused me to feel hollow, in fact it was the opposite. Sometimes, the emotion and pressure were too much, rising out of me in a wave that I worried would drown me.
“It feels like I’m going through the motions,” Caleb continued quietly. “Doing what’s expected, but it’s not real,” he muttered, shaking his head. “I spent my whole life being groomed for this role and now –” He inhaled shakily. “And now, I just want out.”
“Caleb,” I said worriedly before stopping as I realized I didn’t have an answer for him. What could I tell him that would make this okay? Give up being Alpha? Leave his Pack? Neither of those were acceptable to a shifter, especially not one raised to do the right thing, even if it killed him.
“It’s alright,” Caleb tried to reassure me, but the words rang empty. “I’m not unhappy,” he continued and I noticed the distinction. He wasn’t happy either.
“You boys look mighty serious over here,” Thomas called out, his hands in his pockets as he strolled closer, studying us carefully.
“Jess told you to keep an eye on us?” I asked in amused admiration. There weren’t many shifters who would attempt to act as referee between two Alphas, much less a human. The only other person I knew was my own father and that was strictly because of his size.
He shrugged, not bothering to answer the obvious. “Trying to solve the world’s problems? Otherwise, I don’t know what could cause young men to be so unhappy.”
“I’m not unhappy,” I rushed to assure him, not wanting him to think my concern had anything to do with Jess.
“Then it must be Caleb who’s carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders,” Thomas surmised, rocking on his heels as he waited for one of us to confirm his theory. I glanced at Caleb and he finally nodded jerkily.
“Want to tell me about it?” Thomas asked easily, hands still stuffed in his pockets as he gave us space.
“Not really,” Caleb admitted, glancing up at him. “Sir,” he tacked on hastily and Thomas smiled.
“That’s fine, so long as you talk to someone,” he told him. “Don’t carry your burdens alone. They’ll wear you down a little at a time, turn you into someone you don’t recognize, someone you don’t respect.”
“An Alpha’s path is to walk alone,” Caleb argued, shaking his head. “My Dad told me that.”
“And you want to be just like him?” Thomas asked, not waiting for an answer as Caleb gave him a startled glance. “Last time I checked, a wolf pack is called a pack for a reason. They support one another, and care for one another. Don’t set yourself apart from them, Caleb.”
