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Chapter 18
Noah
The day wore on slowly. I’d never had a problem pulling twelve-hour days in my office before, but since Shelby came into my life, I’d struggled to do six. Those sixes had added up and today I was playing catch-up.
My mind, however, strayed toward her often and I couldn’t help but feel that I made today catch-up day just to avoid her. Too chicken to stick around and see if she remembers telling me she loved me before she passed out last night. I had almost zero sleep, my mind busy during the night as I debated many options on how to deal with things, and in the end, here I was, taking the coward’s way out for the first time in my life. I acted a coward and ensured I wouldn’t be hearing about it at all until I felt ready.
The question I had been asking myself since I locked my door is, do I love her? That was a really tough question for me. The only person in my life I had ever truly loved was my sister, and death had claimed her life and taken her from me. My mother, who had never been overly warm to begin with, became the frost queen overnight when I’d needed her most.
I was aware this was something that could cause issues later in life, but as I had learned how to deal with the lack of care offered to me by offering it to others, Littles specifically, I wasn’t overly concerned. Or I wasn’t until those three brief words left Shelby’s mouth.
I cared for Shelby a great deal and felt a connection to her I’d not experienced before, but did that mean I loved her?
You’re so thick.
Yeah, I’d heard that before. Growing up, I’d heard you’re thick a lot. Apparently, I must be stupid because I was too pretty to be anything else. It wasn’t until I’d gotten to college and met my frat brothers that I came to be comfortable with who I was, coming to terms with the guy on the inside and the guy on the outside.
All of us, including Freya (Marissa), had come from money, with the only exception being Erik, whose parents were immigrant farmers from Norway. It was Erik who had taken his ancestral mythology and created the three clubs we were all a part of after college. Midgard, where I met Shelby, Valhalla, a members-only club where members were well-vetted, and Asgard, which was more of an entity versus a destination. We held Asgard parties only a few times per year.
Erik’s woman, Raia, who he’d met at an interview for club Midgard, ran Valhalla now and was doing an amazing job of it. She’d rolled right into management like she had been born for it.
We had an Asgard event coming up in six weeks and it had been my intention to bring Shelby. But if I couldn’t come to terms with my feelings for her, maybe I would attend alone.
I leaned back in my chair, losing myself in the busy city below me as I played the memory of the first time I saw her. Despite her not being my usual type, she immediately attracted me. Then walking into the Middles’ room to find her so upset and that loser and his brat picking on her.
My hand involuntarily curled, as if I could change what happened by threatening the memory with my fist. I’d spanked her that night for the first time, watching her perfect ass cheeks bounce as I delivered her first ever spanking.
My cock hardened with the memory. Her ass… a poet could write sonnets about its perfection. Lush and full and curved like a heart. My cock strained as I conjured her reddened backside.
I decided pink was my favorite color for her. Shelby was lusty and spankings really were her favorite, even the punishment ones served her needs, but the fun ones drove her crazy with desire.
I undid my zipper and let my cock spring free of its constraints. I pictured her in last night’s outfit, those perfectly formed jeans. A guttural groan escaped me, and I wrapped my hand around my dick, gently pumping as my mind replayed her sexy ass in those pants, bent over the counter while she cut up vegetables and pepperoni into cute little star shapes. I pumped harder when I replayed her licking her ice cream spoon, her pink tongue darting out to swipe the cream off her lips.
My balls were tightening. I was close to losing my load when the memory of her shoving her bum against me and sinking my cock deep into her ass grabbed a hold of my senses and that was it. Like a total newb, I pumped my cock, letting my seed spill into the handful of tissue I’d grabbed from the box.
Did I love her? I knew I loved everything about her, but was I even capable of genuine love?
Give her a chance.
Hadn’t I been doing that all along? Wasn’t that what this was about, seeing if we fit?
Don’t be a prick Noah, the woman is in love with you.
And there was that. What would I be doing if Shelby hadn’t come into my life?
You’d be a boring fuck like you were before!
I tried to picture my life without her in it. With her back in her crummy apartment, or in a new one I’d pay for except if I wasn’t her full-time Daddy, she would never let me pay because one thing my Shelby had in spades was honor, and she would do what fed her warrior soul, every time.
I knew that to keep her, it would have to be the full package. Not setting her up, not a weekend fling, but the full-meal deal, and that was what I’d been looking for.
She’s not a Little. How long will you last?
She may not be a Little, but she was a Middle and her little girl ways had wormed their way into my heart. A grin spread and somehow I knew she was the one. No one said it would be perfect because, unlike all of my experiences, this was not a scene, this wasn’t a game or a trial, this is as real as it got.
I threw away my tissues, almost feeling guilty that I’d taken this pleasure from her. I had warned her no orgasms without me or my express permission, and I’d just jacked off to images of her sweet ass.
Down boy,I warned. No more of that today, one more call, and then off we go to get Shelby’s new bedroom figurines.
