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He stepped closer. “If we were to form the bond, you’d need to part with your secrets eventually.”
“So would you.”
“And I can’t. They’re not just my secrets to keep.”
She stilled as realization hit her. “That’s why you’re holding me at a distance.”
His gaze followed the path of his hand as he slid his hand from her wrist up her arm, over her shoulder, and up to curl around the side of her neck. “I can’t give you more than I’m already giving you. Which isn’t enough, I know. But it’s all I can give. So we go on as we are and make the best of it. Because I’m not letting you go.”
Raini stared at him, wondering what secrets he could possibly possess that drove him to hold back from his own anchor. If they weren’t just his secrets to keep, they had to involve his lair. And while she wished he’d trust her with them, she knew all about keeping secrets to protect yourself. She would have parted with hers if they had bonded, but if keeping her secrets had been necessary to also protect her girls or lair members, she wouldn’t have shared them with Maddox. Not without their permission anyway. So she’d be a total hypocrite if she gave him shit—even in her own head—for doing what he’d done.
Raini swallowed. “If that’s the way it has to be, then that’s the way it has to be. I don’t expect you to tell me things that would make others vulnerable. I can accept your reasons for making the choice you’ve made. But it doesn’t change that if you’re not in this all the way, you can’t expect me to confide in and rely on you. You just can’t. Or you could, but you’d only spend your life thoroughly disappointed because you won’t get your way in this.”
Relieved and grateful she hadn’t pushed, Maddox gave her neck a little squeeze in thanks. On one level, it galled him that she wouldn’t simply turn to him when she needed help or advice, even though he hadn’t earned that. On another level, he respected that she stood firm and refused to allow him to bulldoze her.
Similarly, despite the entity’s vexation with being held at arm’s length, it was impressed by her resolve. Not that it had ever perceived her as a pushover. No, like Maddox, it had recognized straight off that Raini was no weakling.
“You know, your name suits you,” he said.
“It does?”
“Yes. You’re rain and lightning and thunder. A storm. Electric and intense with a will of your own. But you’re not one of those people who wears their inner strength loudly and boldly, daring the world to come at them. You’re content to be a quiet force of nature, but you’re still very much a force.” And he’d be a fool to forget it.
“Oh. Um, thanks. I think.”
“Back onto the original subject, you only gave me a bullet-point version of what’s been happening,” said Maddox, sliding his hand from her neck into her hair, letting his fingers comb their way through the blonde, pink-highlighted curtain. “I want every little detail, no matter how big or small those details are. I can’t properly look into this situation if I don’t possess all of the facts.”
“Okay. But I really need a drink.”
Maddox followed her into the kitchen as she began to relay the full story. He didn’t want to believe anyone from his lair could be responsible; that they would target the anchor of their own Prime, a woman who’d done nothing to them. But could one of them have done it? Euan and Marcella might have been tempted. He wasn’t sure they had the guts to take such risks, though. Given all Raini had told him about her sister’s anchor, Dwain seemed the likeliest culprit.
Watching as Raini took a sip of the wine she’d poured herself, he said, “There are a couple of people in my lair who might target you. I’ll question them. If they’re responsible, I’ll deal with it.”
Raini leaned back against the counter. “I’m guessing one of them is Marcella, but I don’t expect you to confirm that. I didn’t mention her to Jolene. She wouldn’t have been able to resist interrogating her, and I don’t want you and my Prime at each other’s throats.”
“The only person who’ll be questioning my demons is me.”
“Ooh, how very menacing you sound. But Jolene won’t care how powerful you are or what gifts you’re rumored to have. The woman has no fear. She’s playing nice with you right now, but that can change in a heartbeat.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
“Then you’re also aware that, just as she can’t interrogate your demons, you can’t go questioning Dwain or Demi.”
Fuck, he’d walked right into that one. His demon chuckled, reluctantly impressed by the trap she’d neatly sprung. “You expect me not to question the most obvious suspect?”
