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In fact, it’s absolutely imperative I learn how to handle it because I don’t want to withdraw. I don’t want to mess things up.
And I don’t want to be that way.
In between autographs and pictures, we have a lot of laughs with Baden and Sophie. Gage moves his stool right beside me so he can drape his arm over the back of mine. Periodically, he lets his thumb graze the back of my shoulder, and it’s not in a sexual way. It’s not really even a sign of affection. I think it’s more along the lines of him saying without words, I’m here. I’m with you. No need to be nervous about any of this.
At least, that’s how I’m choosing to take it.
The waitress reappears and asks if we want refills. Gage glances at his watch before lifting his eyes to mine. “Let’s get out of here. Any interest in a walk along the river?”
I blink in surprise that he’d even think such a thing. Maybe I’m really out of practice with this whole dating business, but I thought the date was this… sitting in Mario’s and spending time with Baden and Sophie.
There’s no helping my smile, because as much as I’m enjoying being here with friends, I’d love time alone. “Let’s do it.”
Baden smirks. “That sounds like a great idea.”
Gage gives him a mock glare across the table as he stands from the stool, holding out his hand to help me off. “You’re not invited.” He then looks to Sophie. “No offense.”
“None taken.” She laughs.
Gage helps me into my coat. While the mid-April days have been lovely here, the evenings are still chilly.
I wave goodbye to our friends and let Gage lead me by the hand out of Mario’s.
We head east on the Three Rivers Heritage Trail toward the baseball park that sits adjacent to the Roberto Clemente Bridge. It’s a clear night, and the river is calm. The reflection of downtown buildings, all lit up, along the water’s surface is almost magical.
Gage holds my hand, and we walk slowly as we talk. Others are out tonight, and I notice some recognize Gage as we pass. But his attention is focused solely on me as we stroll.
“Sorry about getting interrupted back at Mario’s,” Gage says. “It didn’t happen at dinner on our first date because I had them seat us in a semiprivate area. In nice places like that, people stay back. But in Mario’s, it’s a lot more festive and there’s alcohol, so that—”
“It’s fine,” I say, glancing up at him.
“Not always,” he replies. “It’s intrusive, especially if we’re spending time together. I just want you to know, I try to be cognizant of it. I don’t ever want you feeling left out.”
I’m not sure he could say anything more perfect. In fact, I’m wondering if Gage might just be without flaws, which I suppose gives me a bit of confidence when I say, “I have to admit… watching half-naked women hang on you isn’t fun.”
Gage snorts and gives me an admonishing look. “First… they weren’t half-naked, although I’ll admit there seemed to be increased cleavage on some of them.”
“Aha!” I proclaim, pointing a finger at him. “You noticed.”
“Everyone noticed,” he throws back with a smirk, “including you.”
“Yeah.” Can’t help but chuckle. “It was sort of out there, huh?”
“I imagine that’s not fun for girlfriends to see—”
Wait a minute. Did he just say girlfriend?
“—but know that stuff doesn’t interest me. It didn’t interest me before I met you. Those type of women don’t do it for me.”
I consider his words, and I want to believe him.
I need to believe him.
And there’s no reason why I shouldn’t. Gage has never given me reason to believe he doesn’t find me likable, attractive, and sufficient for him.
But am I, really?
“Ugh,” I growl out loud, and he looks at me with raised eyebrows. I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I get in my head all the time. It’s something I have to work through.”
Gage stops, turns toward me. My back is to the river, and the reflection of city lights in his eyes is magnetic. “We’re not talking about low self-esteem here, are we?”
I chew my bottom lip. Are we?
His hands go to my face and pull my gaze to his. “You’re not a low self-esteem kind of woman. Your confidence might be dinged up, but it’s situational, right?”
“I’m sorry. But there were a lot of unkind people after I stepped back into my life after I recovered. There are still a lot of unkind people. I expect it now rather than consider it an unusual moment.”
“I hate that for you, Jenna,” he murmurs. “But I also don’t expect you to take my word for it when I say I think you’re beautiful and I’m attracted to you and you have absolutely no reason to doubt these words. I guess I’m going to have to keep showing you.”
