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Holt saw about a dozen thoughts pass over Macie’s face in a matter of seconds, and he could probably guess at only a few of them. Doubt, worry, fear, confusion, even desperation. He didn’t want her to feel any of them. When Knox had first told him that Macie was coming out to the ranch, Holt’s reservations had been strong. His feelings had been complicated, and they still were. And on top of it all, his mom’s health was so fragile. But he’d never guessed he’d change his mind about Macie’s presence at the ranch so completely.
Yet here he was, holding her arm, telling her not to leave the ranch.
“Mom needs the company and distraction,” he said, not sure if he was expressing himself right. And not sure if he was convincing himself more than convincing her in order to override the mess of thoughts in his head. “Mom’s been wanting to get to know both you and Ruby better for a long time. She hates missing out on Ruby’s life. She’s the only grandkid, you know.”
“I know,” Macie said in a quiet voice. The wind stirred around them, and she moved a strand of hair from her face. Her brown eyes were still deep with sorrow.
Holt couldn’t get past the fact that Macie had gone through so many life changes at such a young age: losing her mom in a long battle with cancer, then meeting up with Knox . . . and they all knew how that had turned out. Holt was dying to know what had truly happened to their marriage. Knox had been coy, and Macie . . . she seemed too vulnerable to press for information. Besides, was it truly Holt’s business?
Macie bit her lip and looked away. “Seeing those prescription bottles brought a lot of memories back.”
Holt dropped his hand from her arm, but he moved closer. He had the insane urge to comfort this woman, take her into his arms and hold her. But he knew it would be better to keep his distance. Macie was his brother’s ex-wife, and Holt sensed from his conversation with Knox that things might not be completely over between the two. Besides, logic and reason had to rule.
“I told Mom to tell you about the cancer, but she said she would in time,” he said in a low voice. “She hasn’t told anyone but immediate family. She doesn’t want the town to know or to deal with the parade of food and constant questions that would come as a result.”
Macie nodded. “I understand. My mom wanted to do everything herself, too. Until I found her collapsed on her bedroom floor one day after school. After that, I did home school until graduation.”
Holt tried to imagine Macie as a young, desperate teenager, faced with such a huge burden. He couldn’t even comprehend what she must have gone through. “Sounds rough, and I’m sorry,” he said. “Must have taken a lot of initiative to homeschool and take care of your mom.”
Macie exhaled. “I wasn’t always a knocked-up teenager.” Her tone was bitter, defensive.
He felt like he’d been jabbed in the stomach. “Hey, that’s not what I meant.”
“I know.” She looked up at him. “It’s just that coming back to Prosper is like getting slapped in the face with my past, you know? And your mom . . .” She hesitated and looked down as the wind picked up around them, blowing her hair against her cheek.
Before Holt could think about what he was doing, he brushed back the strands of hair from her face.
Macie’s gaze snapped to his, and Holt knew he had to stop touching her. Now.
He dropped his hand. “What did my mom say?”
Macie really needed to stop biting her lip. The tightening in his gut told him there was only so much he could put up with in one day. And a beautiful, tragic ex-sister-in-law was messing with his mind.
“Your mom’s great and all, but I don’t think she realizes that Knox and I are legally divorced.” Macie took a step back and leaned against the rail. “She wants us to do couple’s therapy.”
Holt had no words. It was a ridiculous notion, right? Although, he could see where his mom was coming from. Family was everything to her. And he’d heard his parents talking more than once about Knox, and how they hoped that marriage and a baby would keep him grounded. Return him to his roots.
But the frequent calls for money loans to Holt had told him that his brother hadn’t really changed. At least not in the ways their parents were hoping he would.
Now, looking at Macie, he wondered if she was still in love with Knox. He’d been her husband, after all. They’d gotten married for a reason—well, more of a reason than pregnancy—because something like attraction and love had got them to that point in the first place. Right? And how was he supposed to answer Macie?
“Do you want to reconcile with Knox?”
“Never.” Her reply was swift, decisive.
And it shouldn’t have sent a jolt of relief through him, but it did. Then he saw the tears in her eyes. Damn. He’d made her cry. Or the conversation about Knox had. Maybe she did want to reconcile, but Knox didn’t? Holt was more confused than ever. Whatever the case was, perspiration along his neck was making his skin itch.
“Come in the shade,” he said. “It’s too hot in the sun.”
She walked with him around the arena until they were near the two horses who had the same idea to keep to the shade. He thought of a dozen things to say, how to explain where his mom was coming from, but in truth, he didn’t know. His mom hadn’t talked much about the divorce, because her life had been consumed with her cancer treatments.
Had Holt missed something entirely? His dad was usually pretty open with his thoughts, and Holt would think that if his mom had been so upset, his dad would have said something. Holt hated to think that his mom was silently suffering. Even more than usual.
But before Holt could attempt to explain anything about his mom to Macie, a deep voice interrupted the quiet.
“There you are.”
Holt turned to see Briggs Jones crossing to the arena. He owned the horses that had been dropped off. His farm was on the other side of Prosper, but he didn’t have a training facility, or the manpower to do it.
