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“It’s Gram,” he said, eyebrows furrowed.
Her heart stuck in her throat. She’d been seconds away from saying something that could have changed everything—whether for better or worse, she didn’t know. It had taken everything in her to work up the courage to even consider saying the words. She didn’t know if she had enough in her to muster up a second attempt.
Walker spoke to Ms. May in hushed tones. Aja turned her attention to her nails, a full set of clear polish with colorful little flowers glued down between two layers. Miri had worked on them for nearly two hours. Placing each flower in its perfect position before she was satisfied. Aja had loved them before. Now they were the only thing she allowed herself to focus on, so she didn’t meddle.
She watched in real time, through subtle peeks at his hunched over body, as his shoulders got tighter. He straightened slowly until his back was a ramrod and a deep line appeared between his shoulder blades. Something was wrong. She wondered if it was appropriate for her to comfort him. She wondered if it would be rude to get dressed.
“All right,” she heard him say. “I’ll see you in a little bit, bye.”
He hung up, and she didn’t even have time to admire the sight of his bare ass before he was sliding his underwear and jeans back on.
“You don’t have to go, do you?” Aja hated how vulnerable she sounded. Damned near pathetic.
He turned to look at her. His face was contorted. Jaw clenched, eyes drawn, that not-quite-pouty mouth in a dramatic downward tilt. It was strange to see someone transition from a state of post-orgasmic bliss to one of what looked like pure terror in a matter of minutes.
“Are you OK?” She rushed to stand up, not caring about her naked state. “Did something trigger you? Do you need—”
“No.” He shook his head and cursed under his breath, shoving his shirt awkwardly down his torso. “I mean yes, but I…
He stopped again, and she was left floundering.
“I need to go.” Even his voice was stressed.
“Home? Is something going on with Gram?”
He took in a heavy, shaky breath that had her moving closer. “No.” Another breath. “Gram is fine. She’s fine. I just need to go.”
“OK.…” Aja tried to wrap her mind around what he was telling her. “Was it something I did? Did I—”
“No.” The word was finite. “It’s not you. It’s never you. M-my dad is comin’. He’s comin’ tomorrow and I need to go. I can’t be in the same place with him. I can’t.”
Her knees went weak, and she had to lock her legs to stay upright. He wasn’t talking about leaving her apartment. He was talking about leaving Greenbelt. Now. As in right now. She’d known this was coming. This had always been the inevitable end to what they had. So why did it feel so sudden?
“OK, I understand, Walker. But can we talk for a second? I have… I need to say something.”
He shook his head, slipping his feet into his shoes. “I can’t think right now. I can’t. I can’t.”
Her eyes watered. “Oh…”
He stood up, clothes on, phone and keys in hand. He was ready to go. Ready to leave her.
Aja opened her mouth to speak, but no words came. What was there to say? She wasn’t about to beg him to stay. Not when he felt so badly like he needed to go. Who would that benefit?
She grabbed the flat sheet from the bed, wrapping it around herself, covering her body in an effort to feel less exposed. Her footsteps were small as she followed him to the door.
“I’m sorry,” he told her. She couldn’t take her eyes off of his hand as it curled around the knob. “I’m so sorry, Aja. You deserve better than this. There was no way I could have…” He ran a hand through his hair. “This was always how this was goin’ to end, I think. I was fuckin’ foolin’ myself.”
She could hear his feet thunder on the old wooden steps as they took him downstairs. She stood at the door until she heard his truck drive off. Then she waited, convinced that he would come back. When he didn’t, the tears finally fell.
