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“Because it feels so fuckin’ good.”
Aja grunted.
“You know it does.” Miri’s voice went dreamlike. “You’re in pain now, but you weren’t always. Remember how it felt when he touched you for the first time? How he looked when he was laughing at a joke you made? How everything felt good and perfect and bright?”
“Like a music video,” Aja said absently, almost seeing the clips of their love story behind a sunshine-y sheen. It was disturbingly cheesy. She was devastated when the clips turned darker, then ended with her left standing alone, heartbroken.
“A music video with hella sex scenes.”
“God… the sex…”
“Yeah.…”
The meal Aja had made went cold in their laps as both women got lost in their heads. She couldn’t bring herself to feel bad about it. She already felt bad about more than enough shit.
Miri clicked her tongue. “Girl, you’ve got me out here reminiscin’ and shit. Now I feel like I’m about to cry.”
“I’m sorry, Miri. I didn’t mean to bring you down into my little pool of sadness. I was honestly just trying to vent. I hoped that getting it off my chest would make me feel better.”
“Did it?”
“Not really,” she said honestly. “Now I can’t get Jazmine Sullivan to stop playing every time I picture him in my head… which is constantly.”
“I’m sorry, baby girl. I swear if I had the answers for how to make you feel better, I’d give them to you.”
She knew in her gut that Miri had been right when she’d said that the only thing that would help Aja was time. She definitely wasn’t focused on moving on from him to someone else—the mere thought revolted her. The more she tried to stop thinking about Walker, the less it worked. It didn’t seem like she would ever get to a place where the good memories weren’t followed by an aching heart, but that couldn’t possibly last forever. Nothing did. She knew that firsthand.
“It’s all right.” Aja smiled at her. “Thank you for listening to me whine.”
“That’s why you fit in with the group so well. We’re all just a bunch of whiny little bitches once you get to know us.”
A wave of gratitude flooded over Aja. She wasn’t sure how she would have fared in this situation if she didn’t have Miri, Jade, and Olivia to fall back on. The other two might not be there, but they’d be over in a minute if she called them. Not for the first time, she felt ecstatic that she had real friends. People she could count on and who could count on her. She wasn’t at her best right now, but even through her distress, she could see that she’d gotten lucky as hell with them.
“I’m so glad I went into Fresh Coat that day and met you.” She found herself unable to keep her gratitude from her new friend.
“Me too.” Miri stroked her shoulder. “I’m glad you let us know you, Aja.”
