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CHAPTER36
At the hurt in his eyes, she knew she’d overstepped with her words. But she couldn’t take them back. What had they had before she was taken? Video games. Sexy times. Light banter.
They hadn’t talked about anything real. They obviously hadn’t known each other, and she’d ignored every red flag he’d thrown up.
The anger flared out of his eyes, fading to remorse.
She picked at her platter of food, her mouth filled with ashes. She wouldn’t be able to eat this, no matter how cheesy and good it smelled.
He looked down at his melty cheesy goodness, but he made no move to eat either.
“I would do anything for your forgiveness, but I don’t deserve it. I know they tried to break you over there, and I’m truly awed that they didn’t do it. They’re good at breaking women. I tried to do what I could when I found out, but it wasn’t enough for you to ever trust me again.” He shoved his plate to the side and leaned forward, his eyes blazing at her. “I love you. You’re everything I never thought I deserved, but if I learned anything in my time at the ranch, it’s that I deserve more than I got. I do deserve you. I deserve your trust and your forgiveness, and I’m here asking for it. Not tonight. But someday I would like it, and I’ll do whatever it takes to get it.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to trust him because he was right. He did deserve it. He’d gone into that situation and worked for those people to take them down. He’d done it for the right reasons, to end them. And then, beyond his control, he’d been forgotten there. Unable to get out with his life.
But so many people had been sacrificed.
As soon as she thought about those women in the cages, the screams, the begging and pleading, the slapping of skin on skin, the tortures, her stomach revolted. Her throat closed up.
She couldn’t breathe.
“I need air.” Tossing her napkin on the table, she rose to leave as Antonio stood and tossed a wad of cash down to follow her.
She wasn’t sure she wanted him with her while she got air, but it was clear he was coming.
Katie walked blindly, relishing the chilled night air on her exposed skin. Footsteps followed.
Walking at night in the city was dangerous, but she knew the footsteps were Antonio.
Danger incarnate.
Yet, the footsteps comforted her.
She swiped at her eyes, angry tears forming.
Finally, when there weren’t any people anywhere on the darkened streets, she spun on him.
“The worst part of it is… In that place, after—after they’d given me to you, I thought you were so nice. You fed me. You bathed me. You gave me clothes. I know now what happened. They broke me and you swooped in to play the hero, when in reality those are all basic necessities that any decent human would give. You were no hero. You’re a monster.”
She wanted to slap him. To punch him.
Instead, she threw herself into his arms, letting her tears flow.
“Why?” She cried into his hard chest as his arms came around her. “Why do I care about a monster?”
Why did he make her feel better? When he’d caused all of this, his arms around her made her feel safe, comforted.
Why?
She wanted so badly to go back to her life and forget about him. Wanted to work in her office, doling out money to families in need, but it was all so one-dimensional now. Her apartment was stale and sterile, her office full of smiling faces that didn’t mean anything to her.
Katie couldn’t force it.
She’d followed through with this date because he deserved to know she’d been pregnant with his baby, that she’d lost it. Katie didn’t understand why that was important for him to know though, and it seemed more important for him to understand why she should hate him.
But didn’t.
“Cariño,” he spoke as he pulled her back slightly by her shoulders. She looked up at him and sniffed. “What do you want?”
