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ChapterSeven
It’s notuntil I’m a few blocks away that I recall the problem with the whole “I’ll text you” bit. My phone is still swimming, and with something far grosser than the fishes.
Somehow, I get my brain into gear enough to recall where I’ve seen a cellphone store nearby. I head toward it at full speed, and midway through my dash, I realize how late it is. They might be closed.
Nope. This is the city that never sleeps. Apparently, it also always shops for phones because the store is open.
I purchase the cheapest smartphone they have, which still has a thousand times more computing power than my drowned device. The transfer of my number happens in a flash, and by the time I walk out of the store, I’m getting texts from my sisters asking about Operation BS.
Not ready to discuss my misadventures, I take the subway downtown. When I exit the underground station and head over to the ferry terminal, a text from The Russian hits my phone:
How about 7pm at Miso Hungry?
If I had any hope that he’d forget the whole dinner idea, it’s gone now. I can’t even honestly object to the restaurant he picked, as I’ve eaten there with my sisters and loved it. The place serves very little cooked food, so cooking smells are kept to a minimum. It’s also super clean, which keeps Gia happy, and it doesn’t serve any fowl, which is a boon for Blue. Oh, and their green tea crepe cake is divine, so I’d better leave some room in my stomach tomorrow.
Wait. Am I actually looking forward to the dinner? Am I insane?
Mind spinning, I make it to the terminal, only to find that the ferry has just left. Ugh. What else could go wrong for me today? Will I get struck by lightning? Step in dog poo? Get stuck on a bus with someone who has major BO?
Oh, well. I grab a seat and decide to use the time productively. I need to update my sisters on what happened, or else Blue might tap into my phone while the others show up at my door.
I videocall Honey first, as she’s the least likely to tease me.
“Hey,” Honey says as soon as her face shows up on the screen.
Before I can say hello, another face joins hers, a male one that doesn’t look like mine at all.
“Sour sweetie, yellow!” Fabio says. “I’m so glad you called. I’m dying to know how Project BO went.”
And there it is, the other thing that could go wrong today. Fabio is our childhood friend, and when it comes to teasing, he can be worse than all my sisters combined. On top of that, he and I have recently returned from visiting my grandparents in Florida, and I must have gotten on his nerves or something, because his barbs have become pointier. Though it could also be because he’s been having problems with his boyfriend.
Honey punches Fabio’s shoulder. “I told you, it’s BS, not BO. And I said it was a secret.” She turns back toward the camera. “I’m sorry, hon. He asked to crash at my place and said he was feeling depressed, so I told him about you.”
Did Honey just call me “hon?” She must feel truly guilty, as she hates that endearment. As to Fabio feeling depressed and wanting to crash with her, I can think of only one reason. Biting back a sharp reply to his BO joke, I ask Fabio gently, “Is it over over?”
He waves me off. “It was over when I left on vacay without him. All good. For the best. You know I was only in it for the sex, and there’s plenty more where that came from.”
Since Fabio is a master of bad puns, I can’t help but think that “denial is not just a river in Egypt.” For a while now, he’s been saying that sex is all he cares about in a relationship, but if that were true, I don’t see why he needed his ex at all. Fabio is a porn star who can get sex without any boyfriend and get paid for it, so clearly, there’s more to it than that. It’s a touchy subject, though, and it’s best I steer clear of it.
“I should let Fabio settle in,” I tell Honey. “I’ll—”
“Don’t you dare hang up,” he says. “I need this. Spill.”
I sigh.
He rolls his eyes. “If you don’t tell us now, I’ll be forced to pull out my Lemon jokes, and you know they’re the zest.”
I groan, and not just because he still doesn’t know the difference between a pun and a joke.
He looks at Honey pointedly. “It must have gone badly. She’s lost all zest for life.”
Honey chuckles. Traitor.
Fabio fixes his gaze back on the camera. “If you don’t spill, I’ll henceforth refer to you as Tyranno-sour-est Rex.”
I debate hanging up.
“I’ll also tell you to squeeze the day,” he threatens.
