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More silence.
“Okay, let me put you on speaker phone so Art can explain it better.” I click the button and move the phone closer to Art’s yummy lips.
“Art, meet Honey. Honey, meet Art.”
“Hello,” Art says. “It sounds like you own a cat. If we could just borrow it for an hour, I’d greatly appreciate it.”
“Why?” Honey asks, summarizing my position quite nicely.
“In Russia, a cat is considered a symbol of prosperity and wellbeing,” he says. “It is believed that a cat will bring positivity into the dwelling.”
Honey snorts. “Positivity? Have you ever met my cat?”
“Your cat’s personality isn’t important. Any cat will annul the negative vibes left from the prior owners of the place.”
“Ah, vibes,” I say. “Why didn’t you say so earlier? Does it appease the spirits too?”
Art’s lips press into a line. “I might not personally believe it, but yes, the ancient Slavs did worry about household spirits, and a cat was considered an ambassador to them.”
“Wouldn’t the cat eat Fluffer?” I ask.
Honey sounds like she’s choked on a drink. “Who or what is Fluffer?”
“Our pet chinchilla,” Art explains. “He’ll be okay because he’s still at my old apartment.”
“Ah, okay,” Honey says. “I’ll bring Bunny over to your new place. Give me the address.”
Art turns to me, the corners of his eyes crinkling. “It just hit me. Honey and Bunny?”
I shake my head vehemently and make a zipping motion across my lips. If Honey thinks she’s being mocked, she will refuse to bring the cat over, and then we’ll have to deal with Blue’s homicidal beast.
“Your sense of humor is a lot like your wife’s,” Honey says dryly. “This union might actually work.”
“Indeed,” Art says and tells her the address.
“When should I be there?” she asks.
“In twenty minutes, if you can,” Art says.
“See you.” Honey hangs up.
“That’s some request.” I text my sister a big thanks.
Art tightens his grip on the wheel. “Look… I didn’t have a home growing up, so now when I get a place, I like to get things right.”
Oh. Damn it, now that he’s playing the orphan card, I feel like an ass for poking fun.
“Are there any other traditions like this one?” I ask, doing my best not to sound judgy or mocking.
“This is one of the few that I follow. But yeah, there are tons of others. Some people put honey in the corners of the house.”
“Oh?”
“It’s supposed to appease the domovoi. A kind of benevolent house spirit.”
Wow. This is getting kookier by the second.
Grinning, I say, “Just in case, we could ask my sister Honey to stand in some of the corners. Cover our bases.”
